Look — Up In The Sky!

It’s been nearly a year since the city’s landmark water tower overlooking Interstate 95 was adorned with $86,000 digital clock and temperature displays — and they still don’t work.

The city has withheld final payment of $77,000 and is prepared to give the manufacturer one last chance to fix the problem, but at least one commissioner thinks it’s time to give up on any hopes of the LED features ever working.

Keith Sutton, a seven-year Hollywood resident, said it’s absurd that the clock still doesn’t work and is “systemic of the problems in Hollywood.” — Sun Sentinel

My suggestion: set the clock to any one specific time.  That way it will be accurate for a full minute twice every 24-hour cycle, which would far exceed the performance of any single elected official not only in Hollywood, but the entire state.

As for the temperature, why bother with technology?  Long before the arrival of white devilsfrom Europe, the Natives in these here parts used the skin of an alligator.  Here’s how it works:

If the skin is wet, it means rain.  If dry, no rain.

If the skin throws a shadow, it’s bright and sunny.  No shadow, it’s overcast.

If the skin is hot, so is the temperature.  Cold?  Well, you got it.

If you can’t see the skin, it’s foggy.

If the skin is moving, it’s windy.

If the skin disappears, we’ve had a hurricane.

But what really caught my eye was the comment from 7-year resident, about how this is “systemic of the problems in Hollywood.”  What do you suppose he meant by “systemic”?  Did he mean there are phenomena that illustrate systemic problems in Hollywood, and this is one of them?  Or did he mean to say, “symptomatic?”

While I lean toward the latter, I would not be surprised to find out that if asked he’d say a “symptomatic” is a kitchen device hawked by Dan Aykroyd on SNL.

Given the population in Hollywood, it’s a wonder the skin ever throws a shadow.

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