Naked Truth

Hey, Florida!  According to Men’s Health Magazine, we like us some PORN!!

Most porn films may be shot in the L.A. area, but their biggest audience is in Orlando. We know what you’re thinking: How can the home of G-rated theme parks be skin-flick central?  It seems that while tourists line up at a kid-friendly fantasy world, the locals prefer one in which Snow White and the dwarfs whistle while they… well, you know.

We peered through a statistical peephole to tabulate the following criteria: the number of DVDs purchased, rented, or streamed (; adult entertainment stores per city (; rate of porn searches (Google Insights); and, for fans of soft-core, percentage of Cinemax-subscribing households (SimplyMap). Not only were Orlando folks the randiest residents, but Florida was also the most salacious state.  The ratings:

Orlando, FL
 Las Vegas, NV
 Wilmington, DE
 Raleigh, NC
 Charlotte, NC
 Minneapolis, MN
 Atlanta, GA
 Tampa, FL
 Anchorage, AK
 Austin, TX

Makes sense to me.  Daisy Duck is one hot, um, water fowl.

But I doubt it’s locals — I suspect all those conventioneers trapped in hotel rooms are the culprits here.  What else is there for them to do?  After a long day at the trade show, it’s only natural they want to limp back to the hotel room, pour themselves a drink, and indulge in the physical sin of Onan they’ve been practicing vocally all day long.

Anybody spending time in the Orlando area knows only too well how many jerk-offs you bump into at every turn.   It’s the major reason cars get stuck on International Drive.

In a (sort of)  related story, here’s a report on the election in Mexico:

Social networking sites are buzzing with debate over a Mexican congressional candidate who released a campaign poster showing herself topless. 

[Natalia] Juarez is running on the ticket of the leftist Democratic Revolution Party. She is shown on the poster along with six other women, all of whom are seen covering their breasts with their left hands. Some are raising their right fists.

Juarez is a 34-year-old philosophy instructor at a local university.  —

Why didn’t Michelle Bachmann think of this?  She’d be leading the GOP ticket instead of whatzisname!  On the other hand, thank god nobody convinced Arizona’s Jan Brewer to go this route.

This entry was posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip, NIMBY. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Naked Truth

  1. theysaidthat says:

    Speaking of Ms. Bachman, she’s now a Swiss Citizen. REALLY!
    She can also RUN FOR OFFICE, so your poster idea is not may still have a chance.
    However she still is a boob(s)

  2. Hose B says:

    She’s the fat one in the middle.

  3. Hugh Bris says:

    This is the first positive thing I’ve ever heard about Orlando.

  4. Lois Terms says:

    I like the fact that this was in Men’s Health Magazine.

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