Hot Pants

John McGuinness….was angry with his girlfriend because she’d been texting another man, so he called her and told her he was about to throw out a pair of her jeans—a $200 pair of her jeans, the Cape Cod Times reports.

The girlfriend rushed over, and found McGuinness outside holding the jeans, which he’d doused in wasabi sauce. When she got out of the car…. he shoved the jeans in her face, getting wasabi sauce in her eyes. Then he poured more of the spicy stuff into the car. Police eventually arrested him, and have charged him with, among other things, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. — Newser

What a waste of wasabi.  Or should that be, a waist of wasabi?

Please note that this incident took place in Cape Cod, where I imagine wasabi products are rather expensive.  Then again, that was allegedly a $200 pair of jeans.  Something tells me this was a high-maintenance couple.  I bet bail was set pretty high.

It’s also worth noting that while wasabi was deployed as a weapon here, it is decidedly less dangerous than a hand gun, and, unlike say, Florida, easier to acquire.  Also, wasabi has other uses than spoiling expensive jeans and assaulting girlfriends, whereas a handgun is pretty much restricted by design to firing bullets.  In my neighborhood the local Wal-Mart offers a fine selection of guns.  I don’t think it carries wasabi.  Or $200 jeans, for that matter.

So even among the liberal Massholes, there’s no need to start organizing to prohibit wasabi.  After all, wasabi doesn’t ruin $200 jeans and assault people, people ruin $200 jeans and assault people.  On the other hand, there might be reasons to prohibit $200 jeans.  Is anybody’s ass worth that much?  I withdraw the question.

Finally, I conclude that had George Zimmerman been carrying wasabi-crusted jeans around with him that fateful night, Trayvon Martin might be alive today.  Once he stopped sneezing.

Happy hump day.

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2 Responses to Hot Pants

  1. julesagray says:

    wasabi blows. if you eat it, you’re a major choad.

  2. Kim Chee says:

    I agree this sounds like disagreeable couple. A pity she didn’t reverse the attack and force him to wear those jeans himself. Wasabi in the crotch area is an eye-opener.

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