Turns out all this world-wide concern is over the “uro,” not the Euro.
Western Europe is abuzz with the latest flare-up in the war between the sexes, and for the moment, the Amazons seem to be winning. If outrage continues to mount, it will soon be not just uncool and politically incorrect for a man to urinate while standing up, but out-and-out ILLEGAL. Yes, the liberated women of France and Germany and Holland have vowed to put their men down – on the toilet. They carry placards showing a huge red X scrawled across a man standing to urinate. They shout: “Laissez tomber votre pantalon, et asseyez vous! (Drop your trousers and sit)!” “Behalte deine Tropfen fuer dich (Keep your drips to yourself)!” “Toch niet weer een vieze plas op MIJN badkamer vloer (Not another filthy puddle on MY bathroom floor)!” — NakedScientists
Reading this, is anybody else tempted to pee in the sink? How about on the walls?
It’s not even a little bit surprising that this issue has arisen. At a time when the world confronts gigantic, seemingly insurmountable social/political/economic problems that threaten the very fabric of civilization, forcing leaders and commentators to focus intently, inevitably society’s feeble-minded feel neglected and take steps to draw attention to themselves. Massive unemployment, 4 years of depression, the EU in turmoil, and these women are concerned about drops of urine on the floor of the loo.
Get ready for Occupy Urinal.
Would it be impolitic to point out that this alleged problem wouldn’t even exist had there not been such PC pressure to create unisex bathrooms? And that the real culprit here is the disappearance of the trusty urinal into which men happily directed their streams swiftly and accurately, and with minimal use of water to flush, too.
I fondly recall urinals filled with mountains of ice — wasn’t that fun? Some bars had 8-foot long vats into which we poured our second-hand beer, standing shoulder to shoulder and wordlessly competed for strength of stream and length of session.
Or standing there privately, dick in hand, the day’s sports page tacked on the wall to read while attending to business.
How about the sign Polish Patrons: Please Don’t Eat Bathroom Mints? (Below which one irritated customer had written, “Yo funny Buy you a drink. — Stosh Czybrizklinski.”)
The series of scrawled messages above your head. Look Up Here (arrow). No Over Here (arrow). Until you’re practically turned around to read Hey Stupid You’re Pissing On Your Shoe. Or, Don’t Look Up Here The Joke Is In Your Hand.
’Way too much fun by ourselves for women to tolerate. It’s a guy thing. They wouldn’t understand.
Somewhere, Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig is smiling.