It says here the Miami Heat won the NBA championship last night in Oklahoma City. What (I says to myself, says I) are they doing out there in western bumblephuck, hundreds of miles from a cell phone tower and the smell of seawater? So I asks around and come to learn that Okie City has its very own NBA franchise called the Thunder, which used to be the Seattle SuperSonics.
(It probably shows that I don’t care much for basketball.)
Why did Okie City think it was a good idea to bring an NBA franchise to town? Here’s one explanation, which I guess you could think of as “the back story.”
OKLAHOMA CITY — An Oklahoma City man says his fetish is what led to him being raped.
The man, identified as a 27-year-old who suffers from autism, said he has a fetish for flatulence, or farts. The victim told police he likes “the sound and smell of farts.” He added he was lonely and just wanted to make friends. This led him online where he ended up exchanging phone numbers and text messages with another man, who the victim said is responsible for raping him. The victim said the two met on the Web site AIRG.com back in January.
According to the police report, the victim said the suspect, who’s name police are withholding, sent him hundreds of explicit text messages. On February 27, the victim and the suspect met in person at the suspect’s house. The victim said he thought he was going over to the suspect’s house to “enjoy the suspect’s farts.”
The officer who took the report asked the victim why he met with the suspect after receiving the explicit text messages. The victim told the officer he, “thought they could just fart and be friends.” — NewsOne6
Read that last sentence again. Can a touching teevee reality show be far away?
Yes, the website AIRG.com is genuine, but despite the name, it doesn’t seem to be limited to flatulence fetishists or bjs.
Anyway, clearly this incident was the final blow (!) for OKC’s humiliated leadership — if the citizenry has been reduced to engaging in this sort of entertainment, which makes dwarf tossing look sensible, clearly it was time to change direction. The SuperSonics were for sale, so they mortgaged a few buildings and took the plunge.
Look how well it paid off — everybody’s talking hoops, while the famous Fart Man has been forgotten. I didn’t even hear any “Air Jordan” references.
Perhaps this also explains why they called the team, “Thunder.”