Fuck You I’m Rich

Well, not exactly.  In fact, not at all.  Except for the “Fuck You” part.

But basically, that’s how I felt today when I tore open the envelope from Cigna containing the rebate check.  Did you get one?  Do you even know what I’m referring to?

A new provision of the Affordable Care Act — called the Medical Loss Ratio, or the “80/20″ provision — could mean some Americans will see a rebate from their health insurance companies tomorrow.

The provision is aimed at holding health insurance companies accountable for how they spend the money collected through premiums. It compares the dollars they spend on health care costs vs. other overhead costs — like marketing, salaries and administrative expenses.

Under the law, small-group and individual-plan insurance companies that annually spend less than 80 percent of premium dollars on medical care owe their customers a rebate. For  insurers to large businesses, the percentage split is 85-15.  –abcnews

It’s not a lot of money.  But it’d the first time EVER my fucking health insurance ever paid me for anything.  It’s been one-way for decades, the useless rat bastards.

Lemme tell you, I’ve run up some charges.  There was that years-long shit with my eyes: the failed Lasik, perforated cornea, two cataract surgeries, and detached retina.  Guido’s breast cancer surgery, chemo, and reconstruction.  My radiation for prostate cancer.  And we’re fucking healthy: no meds, no routines, great numbers.

But I’ve spent hours and hours screaming at insurance companies, sending documents to brain-dead drones, enduring whole days on hold trying to speak to a human being who can look up a record and send me a document.  I’ve caused representatives to cry — literally — comparing them to Nazis and threatening to ruin their careers.  I’ve called health insurance collection agents every hour on the hour weeks in a row demanding to speak to somebody who can settle my account until THEY threatened ME with litigation for harassment.

Fuck with me, asswipes.

But thanks to Obamacare, for the first time ever these cocksucking greedhead insurance whores have been obligated to send me back a tiny portion of what I’ve paid them over the years, a slightly larger portion of which has actually landed in the accounts of the medical professionals to whom we owe our thanks and health.   Who knew?

Thanks, BHO.  It’s enough to make me forget your Bush-like failures as a civil libertarian, and your spineless caving to the NRA.    I can be bought real cheap.  Maybe I should run for office.

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8 Responses to Fuck You I’m Rich

  1. ya' gotta' guessit says:

    You have no idea what’s coming squathole.

    Full disclosure: Ya’ Gotta’ Guessit Enterprises (LLC), is heavily invested in health-care stocks, and as such, enjoys not-infrequent social conversations with professionals in the industry whose ONLY JOB is to interpret this “we have to pass the law in order to find out what’s in it” steaming pile of horseshit called “Obamacare”.

    One attorney who had been through the 9-million page act numerous times says it appears to have been written by a series of morons. He said that “retarded” doesn’t say it – “fucking morons” are the words he used.

    Now, your unpleasant experience with the insurance whores notwithstanding, just try to imagine having any of those conversations with a government puke.

    Anyway, congrats on your refund – you should maybe think about a contribution to the Green Party’s Jill Stein, or Roseanne Barr.
    If it’s any help, Roseanne once wrote that she used to suck dicks for money, so she seems honest.

    • "Esq." a Lawyer says:

      As an attorney myself, I’d attribute exactly zero credibility to the opinion of any lawyer representing health insurance interests on the matter. What you’re listening to is expressions of their own self-interest.

      No doubt there are many rough spots in the law. That’s how it works. You find the same concerns (and colorful opinions) expressed by attorneys representing developers regarding environmental regulations. Listen to accountants and estate specialists on tax laws. It’s our job to complain and we do it damn well. We also make it a point to tell lay people how stupid you are. That’s one reason we lawyers are so beloved.

      This law is a compromise, in fact, it’s many many compromises, but the largest single one is it preserves the interests of the health insurance industry against the provision of universal health care. Reducing the interest of that Goliath will be the task of future generations. It won’t be easy, but until it happens, America will never enjoy the health care Americans deserve.

  2. Barbara Ganousch says:

    I had no idea this was part of Obamacare. I wonder if getting a check will change any minds about the law.

  3. Rightwingnut says:

    The objections to the B.O. Care legislation was never about the concept of providing health care for those who need it. We were already doing that.
    The objections to B.O. Health Care is about the perverse legislation and how it became law.
    B.O. Health Care still stinks!

  4. Kim Chee says:

    My parents are at perfect crossroads where they are too young for MediCare, not covered by an employer, and have what is hilariously known as “pre-existing conditions” that make them uninsurable. Which they were until ObamaCare. Maybe it is not perfect (but what is?) it is better than nothing, it saved their ass, and it won him 3 votes from my family.

  5. Frank of Oregon says:

    I just love it when asstards warn about the federal government “taking over 1/6 of the economy” or “replacing the health care system.” Evil Socialism! In fact, socialized medicine is what we have NOW. If you don’t have the resources, you beg for help at the ER, where your health care is paid for by revenue secured from taxpayers and insurance-buying parties who do. They don’t mention this.

  6. Rightwingnut says:

    Why don’t you take your rebate check and… buy Cigna stock?
    They hire morons who can only speak one word, “NO!” and, they probably pay them less than minimum wage.
    Now, that’s a profit center!
    You could use the dividends to pay your premiums.

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