Dog Days of Summer

One tale, many takes.  Let’s get started.

On May 19, [Emmanuel Alfredo] Tadeo, 27 and his girlfriend Andrea Jill Armintrout had a domestic dispute that turned violent. As the woman’s little Pomeranian pooch tried to protect her owner, Tadeo grabbed the dog, kicked her and broke the dog’s neck. He then continued to beat the woman with her own dead dog.

Prosecutors called it one of the worst cases of animal cruelty they had ever seen.  Tadeo was charged with aggravated assault, felony aggravated animal cruelty, and misdemeanor animal cruelty and battery.  —

Take One

Beaten with a dead Pomeranian!  Obviously the problem here is the dog.  This relatively small and entirely useless breed, the very sight of which, let alone close personal contact with, tries the patience and incites the fury of any creature blessed with testosterone.  It sounds like the couple was troubled enough already — adding a yappy bedroom slipper-like creature to the mix was begging for trouble.  Please note, too, the useless cur “tried to protect her owner.”  Read: attacked.

I know — Pomeranians don’t kill people, whatever damage they inflict (or in this case, sustain), the problem lies with their irresponsible owners.  Same deal as pit bulls, right?  And assault weapons.  They don’t kill people, people kill people.  And sporks don’t cause obesity.  Got all that.

But Pomeranians, by their very infuriating nature, their essential quiddity, are intrinsically dangerous creatures.  They are red flags before charging bulls.  Raised third fingers on the highway packed with road ragers.  Thick yellow lungers in the face of squared off pugilists.

They gotta go.  Ban ‘em.  This tragedy, this crime could have been avoided.

Take Two

This one is easy, especially in the context of the recent mass killings in Colorado, Virginia, and Arizona.  Once again, we see a tragedy unfold precisely because there weren’t sufficient weapons available in the hands of parties who could have stopped it.

Why, pray tell, wasn’t that dog owner armed?  Or better yet, why wasn’t the Pomeranian?

In the one scenario, when macho boy’s hormones start bubbling, she calmly produces her ordinance and offers him the chance to shut up, back down, and get out.  Then it’s entirely up to him.  Somebody might get hurt, but I doubt it’s the dog, and in any case, it’s a matter of choice from that point forward.  His choice.

In the other scenario, the dog doesn’t attack to protect its owner — talk about a bad decision: how about a Pomeranian attacking anything more vicious than a feather duster! — it heads for the gun cabinet, locks and loads, and warns Swinging Dick to back off.   He tries anything stupid, the dog lets him have it.  Arf Arf Bow Wow Make My Day!  Stand Your Ground / It’s My Dog Pound!  No arrest, no conviction, no penalty.

Guns don’t take lives, they save them.  An armed canine means a safe house.

Take Three

Just one final note: isn’t it amazing that this incident did NOT happen in Florida?  The dateline is Fulton County, GA.  Had it happened here in the nation’s dicktip I suspect bestiality would be involved.

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8 Responses to Dog Days of Summer

  1. ya' gotta' guessit says:

    “This relatively small and entirely useless breed, the very sight of which, let alone close personal contact with, tries the patience and incites the fury of any creature blessed with testosterone.”

    Ha, ha, ha!
    You have pretty much summed up my opinion of housecats!

  2. Kent Standit says:

    The fur flies.
    Meaning: the insects that live on dead animals.

  3. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs.

  4. Moose and Squirrel says:

    When I read the whole news item, what stands out is that all the outrage and police action centers around the dog, not the abused girlfriend who the guy beats with it. That’s a little twisted, dontcha think? Of course, she might be a gem herself, getting herself arrested for “not cooperating with authorities.”

  5. Hug A. Nut says:

    I thought “news” was supposed to be unusual or meaningful events.
    Ya call this “news?”

  6. C. Howard Fields says:

    Gotta keep thinning the herd.

  7. Will B. Donne says:

    This puts a whole new slant on the old axiom, “Any stick will do to beat a dog with.”

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