Vote Twice Today!

Oh, goody!  Here in the Banana Republic of South Florida (BRSF) it’s Election Day, which means FINALLY all those goddam fucking robocalls from candidates and their assorted paid committees will finally stop plaguing us.

The one that thoroughly fried my ass came from some ancient shmenk named Sheldon Lisbon.  He’s running for the Florida House seat currently occupied by a fellow with unfortunate name of Gibbons (here’s his web site).   Sheldon earned the ire of the Anti-Defamation League for an ad he ran which drew attention to the fact that he’s Jewish, his opponent isn’t, and because there are many Jewish voters in the district, he is somehow ethnically more qualified.  In response, Sheldon called the ADL “a despicable organization.”

So I get this robocall, a message recorded by some child who giddily tells me in a shrill little girl voice about her grandfather, Sheldon Lisbon, and how wonderful he is.  Vote for her grandfather, she suggests.  Vote for her beloved zayda.

Based on this call, Sheldon, you are cordially invited to eat shit and die.  What the bleeding hell were you thinking?   Not that it matters.  In fact, I can’t vote for Zayda Sheldon or swingin’ Joe Gibbons.  I’m registered neither ‘Crat nor ‘Pub, so I sit out these horrid primary farces.  That doesn’t stop them from insulting whatever intelligence I have left.

The other issue of interest (to me — the ineligible Green Party voter) is this attempt to repeal the Miami-Dade ban on keeping murderous pit bulls.  How silly.  Pit bulls don’t maul children and chew up other dogs, their teeth do.  If regulations that are already on the books against pit bull dental practices were enforced properly, this wouldn’t be a problem, but unfortunately, the socialist Muslim liberal Castro-hugging Obama Democrats in Miami are soft on crime.  So I agree, this prohibition against owning ferocious unmanageable dogs with a track record of mayhem and murder needs to be repealed.

As further evidence, here’s a video of a pit bull destroying the bumper of a police car.  Look closely — his tail wags the whole time.   How sweet.

Besides, look at the photos.  Gibbons are cuter than pit bulls.  Not to mention Zayda Sheldon.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Vote Twice Today!

  1. THE MASSPUBE says:

    “Pit bulls don’t maul children and chew up other dogs, their teeth do” , NOW THAT’S A FUNNY LINE. Double suggestion: Remove their teeth , just as Zayda Sheldon does each night…..and its’ a win -win’ post..

  2. julesagray says:

    as a person whose family has had pitbulls as pets on and off for about 20 year, puh-leeze!
    How this works, see, is if you treat an animal like crap then you have a crap animal! Amazing, eh? I’ve been attacked twice by dogs in my lifetime: Once by society’s most loved and precious pet, a Labrador Retriever and the other time by the adorable and wee Chihuahua. I did nothing to either dog (not my style to bully an animal–now Repubs? that’s another story…ahem).

    So, while pitbulls have a propensity for violence (hence the treating like crap line), saying they’re all shit is irresponsible and wrong.

    • Barbara Ganousch says:

      @julesagray: Sure, I hear the same argument daily. Except substitute “assault weapons” for “pit bulls.” Millions of people like me own assault weapons for years and never have a problem or an accident! I was cut not once but twice with a steak knife — that doesn’t mean they should be banned either. It’s the irresponsible owner that makes the dog/weapon dangerous. Which might be true, but given the number of irresponsible owners out there and the damage they can do with their guns and dogs, how else can we protect ourselves?

      I live in Miami-Dade, and I’m voting not to repeal.

  3. Stan Garde says:

    Re Pit bulls. Your pal over a CM did a very comprehensive study of this, concluding that the data do NOT support a ban, and that the information is so muddled there’s no genuine justification for ANY breed-specific legislation. http://criticalmiami.com/2012/07/10/what-s-up-with-pit-bulls.

    Of course, he’s an idiot.

  4. Living Will says:

    What I notice in any discussions of pit bulls is the disagreement over the data. One study confidently pronounces that there is no data supporting breed-specific legislation, and another offers comprehensive data that clearly shows how BSL reduced attacks and injuries. Throw in emotional owners, the profit-masking kennels and breeders, and politicians seeking to lick ass for votes, and you have a fine mess with no reliable information.

  5. Ruh Roh says:

    I vote for the gibbon.

  6. rbhexem says:

    Are gibbons good to eat? Arf, Arf!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s