Killing Them Softly

While yesterday I managed to resist this sordid little tale from the Keystone state:

Na Cola Darcel Franklin was only eight hours away from marrying the man with whom she had planned to spend the rest of her life. But, around 2 a.m. on Saturday morning, she killed him.

Franklin and the late groom-to-be, Billy Rafael Brewster, reportedly got into an argument that turned fatal in their apartment in Whitehall Township, PA., where they had been living for a year.

The cause of death was a stab wound, according to the Lehigh County coroner’s office. Brewster reportedly suffered two stab wounds to his left torso that resulted in a punctured heart. — NewsOne

….despite the temptation to title it “They Were Pronounced Man and Knife,” or, “Groom Suffers Heartbreak: Wedding Called Off,” a second PA-based story of love gone awry is just too much:

Vickie Jo Mills of Ayr Township, Pa., was arrested Thursday and charged with 10 counts of aggravated assault, 10 counts of simple assault and 10 counts of reckless endangerment after she told authorities she slipped Visine eye drops into the drinking water of her boyfriend, 45-year-old Thurman Edgar Nesbitt III.

Mills, who has a child with Nesbitt, told Pennsylvania State Police she put Visine drops, medicinally used to “get the red out” of eyes, into his drinking water 10 to 12 times since June 2009.

Nesbitt had been sick for years with symptoms such as nausea, vomiting and blood pressure and breathing problems, according to police. His doctor, Dr. Harry Johnston, alerted authorities in after detecting traces of tetrahydrozoline, a chemical found in eye drops, in Nesbitt’s blood tests. A follow up test at the police station showed Nesbitt had 49 nanograms per milliliter of tetrahydrozoline in his system, categorized by medical experts as “an extremely high level, according to the Record Herald newspaper.

Mills, according to an affidavit, “never meant to kill him [Nesbitt], only wanted him to pay more attention to her.”

That’s right. The dead guy is named Thurman. See photo.

These Pennsylvanians must be the spawn of Jerry Sandusky. Or maybe it’s just something in the water. Like Visine.

Madame Medicci’s explanation — I just wanted him to pay me more attention — straddles the border between tragedy and lunacy. I wonder if before she lit on the brilliant notion of making and keeping him violently ill, she tried anything less radical. You know, like talking to him or sucking his dick. I’ve heard these work. On the contrary, I’m pretty sure that most men, when experiencing nausea, vomiting, and problems breathing, tend to be even less attentive to their immediate environment, let alone other people.

Besides, after, say, the first two years with no improvement, isn’t it time to try something else? Maybe switch from Visine to the male equivalent of Spanish Fly? I suspect she thinks the Cuban embargo just needs a little more time, too. Stay the course.

What they say about Pennsylvania — Philly on the east, Pittsburgh to the west, and Kentucky in between — has been demonstrated yet again.

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4 Responses to Killing Them Softly

  1. ya' gotta' guessit says:

    “Pennsyl-tucky”, indeed.
    But you could have hit the Trifecta, squathole:

    AUGUST 7– A Pennsylvania woman with severely sunburned buttocks last night stabbed her boyfriend with a large steak knife after he slapped her rear end while she was doing the dishes in her home, cops report.

    Tiffany Sherry, 24, is facing an assortment of criminal charges stemming from the incident in her Bethlehem apartment. She is being held in the Northampton County Prison in lieu of $25,000 bond.

    According to a police probable cause affidavit, Sherry was cleaning the dishes when her boyfriend, Michael Martinez, “slapped her in the buttocks.” Martinez told a Bethlehem cop that he did this as a “joke” since he “was aware Sherry had sunburn in the area.”

    Sherry, however, did not find this amusing and “became immediately agitated.”

    Martinez told cops that “Sherry turned around from the sink and was holding a large steak knife.” As he backed away, Martinez recalled, Sherry followed him into the living room. He then asked her, “What are you going to do, stab me in front of your children?”

    After directing her two children to leave the room, Sherry allegedly “poked” Martinez in the abdomen with the knife, and then stabbed him in the shoulder. Before stabbing him a third time, “Sherry screamed, ‘I’m going to fucking kill you.’”

    When cops arrived at Martinez’s residence, they found him bleeding from a stomach wound and observed “two distinct cuts to the front and rear of [his] right shoulder area.” Martinez was transported to a local hospital for treatment.

    Sherry’s collar yesterday was not her first cutlery-related arrest. She was busted in 2008 after allegedly stabbing a man with a fork during an argument over diapers.

  2. Borkon says:

    Many strange tribes run wild on that side of the Delaware, which is just another reason to stay here in civilized Jersey. The closer you get, the more tales of weird violence you hear. It gives you an insight into how the Sandusky/Penn State business went on so long.

  3. Ed Darrell says:

    Thurman’s not dead, so far as I can see in the story. Of course, we don’t know what his wife did after she found out his girlfriend was poisoning him . . .

  4. Ed Darrell says:

    . . . after allegedly stabbing a man with a fork during an argument over diapers

    Stop. Just stop now. I don’t want to know how forks were involved in a dispute over diapers.

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