Grogan for Mayor of Miami-Dade

Does anybody remember this old campfire standard?

Bill Grogan’s goat
Was feeling fine
Ate three red shirts
Right off the line

Bill took a stick
Gave him a whack
And tied him to
The railroad track

The whistle blew
The train drew nigh
Bill Grogan’s goat
Was doomed to die

He gave three groans
Of awful pain
Coughed up the shirts
And flagged the train

That’s all there is
This story’s done
I hope you had
A lot of fun

Yeah, if you wanna get the kids to giggle, sing about train wrecks and animal vomit. Works every time.

Anyway, that’s what came to mind when I came across this decidedly less amusing story:

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Three dogs were tied last week to the CSX railroad tracks that run through Cleveland’s Tremont neighborhood. Two of them were killed by trains. The third was a small dog that hunched down when the train came. She survived.

The railroad worker told officers that he had discovered the first two dogs’ bodies in the same secluded stretch of tracks near University and Scranton roads. And he witnessed from a distance the third dog being tied out. He said a man tied the small dog to a rail then appeared to take photographs or video of her. —

What’s especially troubling is the report of some doucherocket taking video. That suggests youtube, a following, even an international fetish society. Are you familiar with the sickos who watch young Japanese women in thigh-high boots (and little else) stomp kittens to death? This sounds a first cousin.

In other news, on Tuesday Miami-Dade County voted overwhelmingly not to repeal its ban on pit bull ownership. “We have plenty of dangerous sonsofbitches running free in the streets already,” one voter told a reporter. “Maybe some of these goddam dog lovers want to adopt one of them instead. At least then they’d have a collar and a name tag.”

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8 Responses to Grogan for Mayor of Miami-Dade

  1. julesagray says:

    fucking douchetank needs to lose his peen in an industrial accident while I videotape it.
    Fucking choad fuckstick.

  2. Kim Chee says:

    OMG this is too sick for words.

    The booted naked Japanese women/kitten thing makes more sense, though.

    No No Just joke! Sorry.

  3. Michael Vick says:

    Oh calm down. They’re only dogs.

  4. odtley says:

    i remember singing that song way back when i was a kid at summer camp because there was one boy who thought it would be a good idea to see if he could eat a shirt himself and throw it up like the goat which it turned out he could not and had to be rushed to a hospital after he stopped breathing and turned dark purple which meant that when the red shirt finally came out it matched his color

  5. Anonymous says:

    Here is a story about the dogs that were banned in Miami:
    How would you like to run into these “puppies” on the street? Would you pet them?

    • Moose & Squirrel says:

      What strikes me as especially crazed about this is that the 4 dogs belonged to the owner of the car. They were his dogs.

  6. anonymous says:

    It served him right. I hope they destroyed his van completly.

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