Pray This Doesn’t Inspire Another Springsteen Benefit Concert

Keeping an eye on Frankenstorm Sandy’s track through South Jersey on the way to the City of Bodily Harm and beyond has been mighty grim for this relocated Fluffyan.  There’s gonna be a lot of wet cheesesteaks and soggy scrapple to account for.

Most of my family lives in Philadelphia and south Jersey, including Uncle Reds and Aunt Gloria, who have lived in a fabulous brick house right on the Margate beach for decades — I hope they evacuated.  Other  members of the clan are scattered from the beaches to communities just over the barrier island bridges, all of which are getting hammered at historic levels.

(No, I’m not related to Snooki.  That pack of assholes infest North Jersey, an entirely separate  fuckin world and they can fuckin have it.)

All four major bridges linking Philly to Jersey have been closed.  I suspect this is unprecedented.  I can’t remember a time when this happened, even during severe snow storms.  If there’s one thing people on both sides of the river understand, it’s the need to escape, to run like hell.  Not this week.  You’re stuck.

All the interstates are closed, including the Schuylkill Expressway, the most travelled road in the state.  Can you imagine closing down 95, 595, the Turnpike, 836, 112, and the Palmetto?  This is three times as bad.  Plus: all public transportation has been suspended.

And all the bars are closed!!

It’s probably the worst disaster to strike the region since Gene F. Mauch managed the Phillies.  On the positive side, Wilson Goode (“the Wharton Graduate”) isn’t calling the shots any more.  Also: political news finally got knocked off the headlines.

When Guido and I told everybody we were relocating to South Florida, they warned us about dealing with hurricanes.  How would we deal with that threat, year after year?  Did we know what we were getting into?   Twenty-five years later, the irony is as thick as the humidity.

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4 Responses to Pray This Doesn’t Inspire Another Springsteen Benefit Concert

  1. Borkon says:

    Worst storm I ever lioved through. I’ll be picking up the pieces for months. I’m thinking about leaving some of the bigger shit up in the trees where they blew into — tell people we’re growing organic truck parts and charge double.

  2. julesagray says:

    Part of my family hails from Northern Jersey (montclair, upper montclair) and some still live there.
    I lived thru the Northridge Quake (ceiling fell on me), a shitload of snowstorms (i live in chicago) a couple of tornadoes (again, live in chicago) and my heart goes out to the folks who lived thru this shitstorm.

  3. Gov Porcine says:

    Don’ worry. I’ll take care of yous.

  4. My buddy Tom wound up with three feet of water inside his home in Ventnor Heights. He sent me a picture of Wellington Avenue and the shopping plaza covered in water. I wrote back that he’d have to wait until low tide to leave.
    “Dude. This IS low tide.”

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