Halloween was a Very Big Deal back when I was a snot-nosed youth in a tight-sphinctered suburban neighborhood. Stay out late? Free candy? Get away with minor acts of vandalism on the houses of neighbors we didn’t like? Deal me in.
I’m a lot older now, but I’m still not ready for JesusWeen:
JesusWeen is a nonprofit organization also known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live better lives through the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. …..The dictionary meaning of Ween is to expect, believe or think. We therefore see October 31st as a day to expect a gift of salvation and re-think receiving Jesus.
I don’t want to think about what we kids would have done to the house that practiced this kind of sacrilege. Forget about wet toilet paper on the walls and windows or the flaming bag of shit. That was for people we liked. This would have warranted a garden hose in the mail slot and/or peanut oil in the gas tank. Bibles in the bag, not Butterfingers? I don’t think so. We would have torn out the pages to wipe our asses and stick them to the front door of the house for months.
Some people just don’t know how to have a good time. They’re always trying to find a moral to the story, or convert every giggle and snort into a learning experience. They can’t even appreciate a healthy hard-on without stopping to consider its biological significance.
Kids don’t care how Halloween came about. They know what it means today, and that’s all they need to know. They knock on the door, hold out their bag, and some adult they don’t even want to look at let alone talk to or hear from tosses in candy to eat, the more and costlier the better. Is that so hard to understand, even for an Evangelical bible harpy?
Kids stopped coming ‘round to my house the year Guido and I answered the door stark naked and told shocked parents we were doing Adam and Eve. That was the year after she did Puss In Boots and I did Peter Pan. You get the picture.
Only 18 more shopping days!