Once Upon A Time

My best guess is that by the time you read this Guido and I will have already voted: our plan is to get to the polling station half an hour before it opens at 7:00.  Get this shit out of the way early.

We tried to early-vote — twice.  Both times there were lines out the door, down the block, and around the corner.  ‘Crats and ‘Pubs might tolerate this, but it’s no way to treat a card-carrying member of the Green Party like myself.  After all, we’re damn near extinct.  Although we are backing Oliver Kofoid for the Monroe County Mosquito Control Board.  Ollie 4 Bug Board!!

My biggest fear is that it won’t end tomorrow.  That the number of clusterfucks, lawsuits, incidents of  violence or shady activities combine to postpone a declared outcome.  This would be the ‘Pubs’ nuclear option — the campaign falls short, measures to suppress minority and other undesirable votes fail, Paul Lyin’s lobotomy didn’t stop his drooling — let’s just scramble the pieces, upset the board, and steal what we can when nobody’s watching.

(Hey — it worked in 2000.  But don’t blame me — I voted for Nader.)

All eyes turn to Florida again.  The Supreme Court, shoulders sagging, jaws set, prepares to sift through knee-deep legal sputum to appoint another winner.  Gov Dickwithears is exiled.  Hugo Chavez offers to send peacemakers, observers, and humanitarian aid.  Some bumblefuck mid-state pastor burns a Koran.

Make it stop.

And just remember — when it’s all over at last, either BHO or Mittney is President for four years!   No matter the outcome, this fairy tale’s ending is Grimm.

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This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

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