Once Upon A Time

My best guess is that by the time you read this Guido and I will have already voted: our plan is to get to the polling station half an hour before it opens at 7:00.  Get this shit out of the way early.

We tried to early-vote — twice.  Both times there were lines out the door, down the block, and around the corner.  ‘Crats and ‘Pubs might tolerate this, but it’s no way to treat a card-carrying member of the Green Party like myself.  After all, we’re damn near extinct.  Although we are backing Oliver Kofoid for the Monroe County Mosquito Control Board.  Ollie 4 Bug Board!!

My biggest fear is that it won’t end tomorrow.  That the number of clusterfucks, lawsuits, incidents of  violence or shady activities combine to postpone a declared outcome.  This would be the ‘Pubs’ nuclear option — the campaign falls short, measures to suppress minority and other undesirable votes fail, Paul Lyin’s lobotomy didn’t stop his drooling — let’s just scramble the pieces, upset the board, and steal what we can when nobody’s watching.

(Hey — it worked in 2000.  But don’t blame me — I voted for Nader.)

All eyes turn to Florida again.  The Supreme Court, shoulders sagging, jaws set, prepares to sift through knee-deep legal sputum to appoint another winner.  Gov Dickwithears is exiled.  Hugo Chavez offers to send peacemakers, observers, and humanitarian aid.  Some bumblefuck mid-state pastor burns a Koran.

Make it stop.

And just remember — when it’s all over at last, either BHO or Mittney is President for four years!   No matter the outcome, this fairy tale’s ending is Grimm.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

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