Cut ‘n’ Run

2 PM update

See Julia’s commnet, below.  And then there’s this:

I get the distinct impression that many people are unhappy about the results of the last election.  It’s not just the noticeable increase in usage of the N-word to describe the winner, or the shavings of gnashed teeth left on gin glasses at WASP-y country clubs.  It’s also stuff like this:

From states across the country, Americans have filed petitions on the White House Web site seeking to secede from the union and form new state governments…. Petitions have been filed for Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas

Most of the petitions have a few thousand signatures; many signers appear to be from other states. Under the “We the People” program, launched last year, the White House will respond to any petition that receives 25,000 or more signatures within 30 days. Anyone over the age of 13 can create a petition. Previous popular petitions demanded the White House beer recipe (success) and marijuana legalization (no success).  — Washington Post

The Tea Party needs to get right on this, dontcha think?

Some of these states might want to run some numbers before they bail.  Many, including our own sovereign state of Flori-duh, receive more in Federal dollars that they pay in taxes, so cutting the chord might also simultaneously pull the plug.  The same is true of most Red States — think about that for a moment.  The ones that hate “big gubmint” most are the ones most dependent on its largesse.

On the other hand, how many Americans would regret the departure of Mississippi and Alabama?   After all, in some respects ways, these two bastions of backwardness never really joined.

Florida already has a secession movement to deal with: the territory south of Skeeter’s Last Chance Saloon in Florida City to the tip of Key West is claimed by the Conch Republic, which seceded from the Union on April 23, 1982.  They seceded where others failed.  The facts are here.

I think the real fun begins when all 50 states file petitions.  Grant them all, and there’s nothing to secede from any more.  States can make their own deals.  No Constitution, not even Articles of Federation.  Forget Renaissance Fairs, this will restore Medieval World.  The hookworm belt population will feel quite comfortable.

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3 Responses to Cut ‘n’ Run

  1. julesagray says:

    Hmmm…I got this little ditty from a friend and it sums up the post-election choadiness real good n’ proper. Especially the weed part. a-fucking men.
    Dear Red State Residents:
    We’re ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we’ve
    decided we’re leaving.
    We in New York intend to form our own country and we’re taking the other
    Blue States with us.
    In case you aren’t aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon,
    Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the
    We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to
    the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).
    To sum up briefly:
    You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
    We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
    We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.
    We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand and Nascar.
    We get Apple, Google, Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Fox News.
    We get Harvard Princeton, Penn, Haverford, Colgate, Yale. You get Ole’ Miss.
    We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs.
    You get Alabama.
    We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay
    their fair share.
    Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
    Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
    With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the
    country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of
    the nation’s fresh fruit, *95% of America’s quality wines* (you can serve
    French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high
    tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
    sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard,
    Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
    With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans
    and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly
    100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists,
    virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
    Clemson and the University of Georgia.
    We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
    35% of you STILL believe Obama is a Muslim, 38% of you believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was
    involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazies believe you are people with
    higher morals then we lefties.
    We’re taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.
    Citizen of the Enlightened States of America

  2. syrbal says:

    I want to see those fools let to go….they’ll come running home with the first disaster. How quickly Louisiana, among others, forget. They had enough trouble managing a disaster with federal help….such as it was under that administration.

  3. Piles says:

    Some of these states don’t even own the land inside the boundaries — it’s all Federally managed. Thier “secession” would be essentially theft. Idiots. Look at this:

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