Buy Buy Baby Baby Buy Buy

Following up on yesterday’s post — what the hell are these?  Is it possible for a product to have ethnicity?  Are my brown shoes Latin?  Is Guido’s red lipstick Native American?

(Insert racist remarks here about dollar bills, Cadillacs, and religious automobile ornaments.  Go ahead.  We’ll wait.)

The sign was in the bakery section of Publix, where the world’s blandest bread is slapped together and sold  in plastic with only slightly less taste and consistency.  So, okay, maybe it means that (e.g.) here’s where the Kaiser rolls, French bread, and bagels live.

But even when it’s only bread, what isn’t an ethnic product?  Go through the entire store and try to find any particular food that is “non-ethnic.”  Even catsup is ethnic — it’s 100% American, a corruption of an Asian sauce using sweeteners and food dye to maintain fat midwesterners’ career goals of morbid obesity and early death.  All food necessarily comes from somewhere, featured in some nation’s steady regimen of diet over the centuries.

(Insert bigoted jokes about flies, horses, red dirt, and starvation.  * sigh *  This gets tedious.)

Something tells me I could do this forever.  In fact somebody tells me I should — says it’s what I do best and what the worlds waits for.  This and rants about poor customer service and screwed-up instructions on websites.  Have I cursed Paypal lately?   Anyway.

In a vaguely related way, am I the only one who sees the sign “Hunan Wok” and sees “Human Wok” instead?  Not on occasion, either, but every damn time.  Except last week, when Herman Wouk was in the news.  I also read this sign as “Belt One.”  Hard to believe Guodo doesn’t like driving with me, innit?

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13 Responses to Buy Buy Baby Baby Buy Buy

  1. syrbal says:

    So is it “ethnic” or “ethic” that reading about the rich farts at the top, when it said “fifth richest”, I read it as “filthy richest”? Oh, wait….I’m non-sequitor-ing again, aren’t I?

  2. The Masspube says:

    Did you forget to take your meds again? Take the blue pill , no the red one.
    Regards, MassPube The Rapist……damn I mean, Masspube, Therapist

  3. White Fang says:

    How come whenever I write F, you see K?

  4. Flaming Yon says:

    I guess you could call these “visual Lady Mondegreens.”

  5. Mr. DUUH says:

    There is a restaurant here names “Asiago” for years i thought it was a Chinese take out, “Asia-Go”

    Later I learned it was an Italian joint…named after the cheese.

    You are not alone.

    • Ted End says:

      As a kid I thought “1-Hour Martinizing” had something to do with Martians. BTW — what does “DUUH” stand for?

      • Mr. DUUH says:

        When my parent came to this country, they changed it from HUUD. They kept getting requests for getting low cost home loans.

        Satisfied?

  6. Mr. DUUH says:

    They never learned me to rite ether

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