Urban Dirt Nap

A forester working for New York City’s parks department made a horrifying discovery last week, beside a huge pile of fallen trees destined for the wood chipper.

A dead man.

And with that discovery on Nov. 15, add this to the huge list of troubles Hurricane Sandy has brought to the neighborhoods hit hardest: wreckage from the storm seems to have created inviting spots for killers to dump bodies. — NYTimes

I got some people I can talk to about this if I mind my manners  and show some respect.  One is Duck Diamonds, professional gambler, who can be found just about every Sunday at the Liquor and Rubber Balls Sports Emporium and Pet Grooming Salon, sipping whiskey and monitoring the NFL action on the establishment’s numerous flat-screen displays.

Duck is bemused by this account.

“You got the city, the state, and the Feds all working 24/7 to put that part of the country back together.  You’re just a small operator — why not take advantage of their efforts and let ‘em help you?”

Business is business.

“That’s all it is.  And it goes way back.  For a lotta years the MO was to wait for dark, then drive across the bridge to Jersey.  There was a time when it got so busy, and Jersey got so developed, wise guys are bumping into one another looking for fresh digs in isolated areas.  And then with the gambling casinos open for business, traffic gets even more intolerable — poor fucks sitting in a car with either a blooding stinking corpse or a guy shitting his pants thinking about becoming one.”

Yeah, but at least they got benefits.

“So now this storm hits and there’s chaos everywhere.  Gas lines are long when there’s any gas to be found, the street lights are all out, and there’s great big piles of rubble on every corner.  You got the whole world to yourself right outside your front window and nobody’s watching.”

All you need is a hefty bag, some duct tape, and a psychopathic personality.

“Like that’s hard to find in New York, right?”

Easier than a parking space, and a lot less expensive.

“You  get it.  Hey, what business man wouldn’t?  That’s why I thought Romney would be the better president — business people get this shit.  They not only know where the bodies are buried, they know who did it, how, and why.”

Good thinking, Duck.  John Gotti for President, right?

“Ha!  Shithead.  You think he’d take that kind of pay cut?”

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1 Response to Urban Dirt Nap

  1. Borkon says:

    My dad is old enough to remember back when most of Camden was still standing, including the area right up against the BF Bridge where every summer endless traffic roared by thousands of row houses, 20 feet from their front doors. But just 20 miles west the world ended, and the burial sites began. They’d glide on by and disappear for a few hours, then come back to the Eye-Tie diner on the airport circle for coffee and dessert. Aaah the memories.

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