Strange Bedfellows

Hey Kids!  Here’s a religious screed going around again — everybody okay with these?

  • People should be guided by compassion and wisdom and follow the golden rule of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
  • The Circle of Compassion should extend to all species, not just humans.
  • People are fallible, and although we should all try to do our best, poor judgment is inevitable. If we make a mistake, we should do our best to rectify it, and resolve any harm that may have been caused by our misdeeds.
  • The [Believer] should ever be self-reflective.
  • All life is precious in the eyes of {the Deity].
  • The freedoms of others should be respected, even the freedom to offend, but great care should be exercised to avoid wrongly encroaching on the freedoms of others.
  • There are things we don’t understand, and it is appropriate to acknowledge that. It is not appropriate, however, to be proud of ignorance.
  • While proselytizing might have noble intent, it is not acceptable to coerce or push your beliefs on others. It is always best to lead by example.
  • Every tenet is a guiding principle to designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion and wisdom should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Satan ScottHere’s the link.  Surprise!

It’s relevant here in the nation’s dicktip because Gov Dickwithears signed SB 98, which permits school districts to allow students to read inspirational messages of their choosing at assemblies and sporting events.  This delights one specific group in particular, which is planning a rally in Tallahassee on January 25 as a show of solidarity with the Governor, whom they believe “has shown unwavering fortitude and progressive resolve in his defense of religious liberty,” according to a press release.  —Huffington Post

That group is the Satanic Temple,

which embraces the free expression of religion, and Satanists are happy to show their support of Rick Scott who — particularly with SB 98 — has reaffirmed our American freedom to practice our faith openly, allowing our Satanic children the freedom to pray in school,” the release continues.

Yes, by signing this bill, Rick Scott earned the respect and gratitude of not just the conservatives Christians who pushed it through, but Satanists.  Maybe there’s hope for the man after all.  It’s a step up from his Teabagger allies and rank and file ‘Pubs in this godforsaken state.

“Satan was the force of design that urged humanity toward refined pleasures of the Arts and Sciences,” according the web site. “It was He who first brought the fruit of knowledge to Humankind that thereafter we might live not as naked brutes in the wild, but develop our cultural splendor into ever more aesthetically and technologically advanced heights.”

That’s right — Satan supports the Arts!  My sources inform me that they’ll be filing several Arts Challenge Grant proposals with the Knight Foundation next month.

Reached for comment, anticipated gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist told reporters, “I’m not gay.”

The rally is called for 1 PM.  Wear black.

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11 Responses to Strange Bedfellows

  1. SATAN says:

    DO NOT MOCK ME HEATHEN. WAIT…I’M THE HEATHEN. I’M SO CONFUSED.
    As always, burn baby burn.

    XOXO
    S

  2. Neil, a Christian Soul says:

    For good reason, Satan is known as the Prince of Lies. This list of “fundamental tenets,” which appears benign, disguises Satanists’ agenda to corrupt souls and create terrible evil in the world. I pray for them, as I do for you, but signing on to this agenda condemns you all to hell.

    • SATAN says:

      I have a seat ready for you. I call it the “HOT SEAT” HA, HA, HA.

      Wasn’t Christ all about forgiveness? Why do you always want to send people to “my place.”

      What kind of hypocritical “Christian” are you?

      Dude, you have little to do and a VERY SMALL LIFE!

      • Neil, a Christian Soul says:

        Yes, our Lord Jesus is all about forgiveness. This is one difference between Him and the God of the Old Testament, who is a “jealous and vengeful” God. I have neither the power nor the desire to send people to hell, my mission is to encourage people to accept and embrace Jesus into their lives to PREVENT them from sins that will condemn them to hell. This is why I pray for them, and for you as well — so you WON’T go to hell.

  3. Sue Perfluous (not my real name) says:

    This is funny. In fact, distinctions between religious denominations and cults are less obvious to me than similarities. What appears here, attributed to Satanism, looks a whole lot less threatening than the 4-Way Test used at Rotary meetings.

  4. C. Howard Fields says:

    I have compassion fatigue and Irish Alzheimer’s (I forget everything but the grudges).
    Damn them all and send them straight to Hell!
    See ya there… {;-)

  5. E.O. Hippus says:

    “That’s right — Satan supports the Arts!”
    Now we know why the arts are drying up and sports programs get all the money.

  6. odtley says:

    when you spend as much time as me locked up in booby hatches with druggies and sickos you meet a lot of people who not just say theyre satanists but they personally met him and some even say theyre satan himself but thats bullshit too because they cant all be right

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