Does the 2nd Amendment Apply Here?

“Jack be nimble, Jack be quick…..”

Slow-Motion-Shot-What-You-Look-Milliseconds-After-Being-Kicked-NutsLEHIGH ACRES, FL -A 23-year-old man was taken to the hospital with multiple burn wounds after he accidentally shot himself in the genitals with a flare gun, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office.

Jorge Perez… told deputies he was playing with a flare gun that was unloaded.  After dry firing the gun a few times, Perez says he then loaded the gun and put it down. When he picked it up, Perez forgot the gun was loaded and fired it at the ground.

Perez told deputies the flare round struck the floor and ricocheted into his genital area. —

“Playing with a flare gun.”  Well, there’s the first problem.  You don’t play with flare guns, shithead.  They aren’t toys.

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”   That’s the 2nd Amendment, and as SCOTUS has recently ruled, this right applies to plain old ordinary non-militia style individuals, even pathetically stupid and dangerous ones.  Mr. Perez has a Constitutional right to own not only the flare gun with which he burned his own balls, but real war-class weapons that fire actual bullets as well.

This is good news, because it means next time there’s a genuine chance he’ll blow his balls right off, ensuring the termination of his brilliant bloodline.  Darwin nods while we applaud.

The National Rifle Selling Association applauds as well, because the right of stupid and dangerous people to keep and bear arms is very good for their business.  There are a horrifying number of stupid and dangerous Americans — have you noticed? — many of whom (a) accept as Gospel whatever crock of shit the NRA puts on a bumper sticker, and (2) purchase and stockpile expensive weapons and ammunition as though they were high dividend-yielding certificates and aphrodisiacs.   Which latter, to some, they certainly are.

So what if 87 people per day perish from gunshots — this is acceptable collateral damage, comparable to the single American flag burned annually (on average), protected by the First Amendment.   It doesn’t negatively impact sales, but it thins the herd.  And we can use the parking spaces.  Right, Kevlar?

Anyway, join me in my prayers for young Jorge, that he may butter his balls with soothing salve and live to shoot his guns another day.  It’s what Jesus would do after the NRA and their 2A freaks bullied him out of that faggot “turn the other cheek” crap he once made popular.

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6 Responses to Does the 2nd Amendment Apply Here?

  1. Balless Marksman says:

    I shot my balls off years ago but it complements my intellect in a lovely fashion.

  2. A True Chirtial Speaks says:

    I thought you were a confirmed Atheist, but no you invoke the name of the Lord?
    You hypocrite

    Guns are not bad as you claim. Had they been around our dear Lord Jesus could have defended himself from a brutal death

  3. The NRA (National Rifle Selling Association) believes that mentally ill or just plain stupid people should not be the victims of discrimination, and have every right to the protections of the 2nd Amendment as your ordinary certifiably sane casual murderer. So, no background checks, please, and no limitations on arsenal and ammunition. If that means the rest of us need nuclear sidearms to defend ourselves, well, it just makes us all safer and more secure in our bunkers. I mean, homes.

  4. Kevlar says:

    Absolutely correct! Does anyone think we don’t need more parking spaces?
    But, a flare “gun” is not a gun gun (“…it’s not rape rape” – Whoopie Goldberg).
    A flare gun is is a tool like a nail “gun.” Yup, one maroon burns his balls off with a flare gun so, let’s outlaw flare guns and nail guns, confiscate all that are out there and license only those people we think should have nail guns.
    We should probably outlaw all flare on South Beach and Key West.

    Wouldn’t it be better to allow the morons, idiots, imbeciles and dolts to maim and kill themselves.
    What…? We have a shortage of maroons?

    The “newz” story was all about a moron and burned balls, not guns.

    You want gun gun crime? Go to Chicago! Some of the strongest gun laws in the country. And yet, you have criminal Blacks slaughtering and murdering Blacks.
    “It’s the guns fault!”
    How about…, it’s the criminals’ fault? How about controlling criminals instead of controlling guns?

    The recent spate of mass shootings…? Criminal crazy White people slaughtering White people!

    Fewer criminals, crazies and clodpates and we’re talking real parking spaces!

  5. E.O. Hippus says:

    Wouldn’t it be better to allow the morons, idiots, imbeciles and dolts to maim and kill themselves.What…? We have a shortage of maroons?

    I think this was the whole point. The trouble is, these clodpates (I like that) aren’t always considerate enough to kill just themselves and each other, they take innocent bystanders with them. As in, most commonly uttered 4 last words of a redneck: “Hey Fellas! Watch This!”

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