Play Bawl

Florida Marlins Introduce Ozzie Guillen as New ManagerOpening Day!  The Miami (not Florida) Marlins are shut out 2-0 on a combined 3-hitter by the Washington Nationals.  The local radio wags are already talking about an over/under line for the number of blanks they’ll fire this year; they settled for 12 – 15.

What’s lost here is that their own pitching surrendered just 2 runs to the putative new dominating team — and in fact, it was 2 Brian Harper HRs.  That’s a lot better than anybody expected out of Ricky Nolasco, who on any real  major league franchise would be at best the #4 starter.

But fear not, Marlins fan(s?).  On Wednesday the Marlins send up Kevin Slowey — great name for a hurler — who last pitched in 2011, where he turned in a record of 0-8 with a 6.67 ERA.  He’ll face Gio Gonzalez — 21-8, 2.89 ERA in 2012.  Also:

Placido Polanco said he doesn’t intend to change his hitting style and start swinging for the fences now that he’s batting in the cleanup spot, behind Giancarlo Stanton.

“That would be very stupid,” said Polanco, who has hit only 103 home runs in 15 big-league seasons, and only 13 total home runs during the past three.

For lack of anyone else with power other than Stanton, Redmond is going with Polanco because of the way he “handles the bat” and doesn’t strike out all that often.

“That might be a thing where we might rotate that depending on matchups,” Redmond said of the clean-up spot. “We don’t have a prototypical four-hole hitter, and if we move Stanton to fourth, we’re talking about the five-hole guy.” —Miami Hurled

“We don’t have a prototypical 4-hole hitter.”  True dat, Red.  This professional baseball franchise enters the season without a proper clean-up batter.  This is the way these people run their business, and actually expect to attract customers.  This is the way this ownership group rewards its home town for its investment, and honors its promise to the fans to field a competitive, entertaining team.

BTW — these Washington Nationals used to be the Montreal Expos, but that franchise was driven into the ground and essentially put out of business by its thoroughly incompetent and disinterested ownership group.  This season, following shrewd investments over the last few years in both players and key management roles, the Nats are picked by many to make it to the World Series.  That’s the difference good baseball people can make.

As for that failed Montreal ownership group that cost an entire city its baseball franchise?  That would be Jeffrey H. Loria and his rat pack, who now own the Marlins.

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7 Responses to Play Bawl

  1. Jeff Hansen says:

    Let’s resign Chuckie Carr and get back on track!

    • Lu Senz says:

      @Jeff: Here is my all-time favorite Chuck Carr story…..and the link to many more. What a colossal clusterfuck he made of his talent and career.

      1997 -Carr returns and starts the season opener at Texas. He is batting 8th this time and playing centerfield for Garner. He goes 1 for 4 in the crews 6-2 lose to Ken Hill and the Texas Rangers. Little does Carr know he would only get 5 more hits in a Brewers unform. The next 4 games he goes 0-16. Then the calender hits May 16th, the Crew are playing the Angels in Anaheim. Carr is quite unhappy, because he is no longer starting for the Crew. The reason was quite simple, he enters the game on May 16, hitting .116 for the season. The Crew are losing 4-1 to the Angels in the top of the 8th. Carr is leading off against Angels starter Chuck Finley. Finley is down 2-0 to Carr, Garner sends the signal to 3rd base coach Chris Bando, to have Carr take the next pitch. Carr refuses to do so and he pops out to 3rd. Later when he is asked why he swing he says “Chuckie don’t play that game” Chuckie hacks at 2-0 !!!!. Carr would NEVER play for the Crew again. The Brewers would give him his release on May 20th.


      Meanwhile, Squats, your Phillies are off to an inauspicious start. Hanging Chad Durbin back on the team? Really?

  2. Old Timer says:

    Y’know, Squirthole, when you get tired of dumb stories about idiots with guns, which is about 2/3 of what you’ve been doing lately, why don’t you and Lu Senz get together and just do a baseball blog? She sure knows her stuff, and sometimes even you actually make sense when you stick to the the game.

    • Lu Senz says:

      I appreciate the sentiment, Old Timer, but include me out — I did that for many years (and plenty of paychecks) in Chicago, and the only thing I have to give away these days is my body. Which nobody wants, not even me. 🙂

    • E.O. Hippus says:

      I like this idea, Old Timer. The baseball coverage in this market is just awful. I miss discussions of the game and the people who play it and the maneuvering behind it. Squattle and Loose Ends always have something entertaining when they start up. Like this one.

  3. Piles says:

    I just can’t for the life of me understand why these people want to own a baseball team. They can’t possibly believe that anybody even vaguely interested in the game has a drop of respect for them any more, and clearly every day brings nothing more than aggravation in the form of hate mail, poor attendance, media abuse, etc. Do they think this is only temporary? Do they plan to change their ways? I just don’t get it.

  4. Diesel Fitter says:

    Chuckie Carr! Hey — I wonder of his teammate Bret Barberi, the vow-of-chastity California surfer, has gotten laid yet. What a pack of losers.

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