These Mouths Are Made For Prayin’

Alright Okay All kidding aside, what does all THIS add up to?

duncesRepublican North Carolina state legislators have proposed allowing an official state religion in a measure that would declare the state exempt from the Constitution and court rulings.

The bill, filed Monday by two GOP lawmakers from Rowan County and backed by nine other Republicans, says each state “is sovereign” and courts cannot block a state “from making laws respecting an establishment of religion.” The legislation was filed in response to a lawsuit to stop county commissioners in Rowan County from opening meetings with a Christian prayer, reported. — Huffington Post

An official state religion.  Something tells me this won’t be Wiccan.  I also figure atheists will be compelled to wear scarlet A’s ‘round their necks, and Jews will be handed yellow stars of David.  Muslims will simply be shot on sight.

But even if not, and the “official state religion” carries no more significance than the official state flower (which in North Carolina is the Blooming Idiot), how do these southern ‘Pubs square this proposed policy with (a) the 1st Amendment’s protection of religious freedom and (2) the Conservative credo of less government interference in the private lives of citizens?

But wait!  There’s more!

Last month, three judges on the US Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit deemed a Virginia anti-sodomy law unconstitutional. The provision, part of the state’s “Crimes Against Nature” law, has been moot since the 2003 US Supreme Court decision overruled state laws barring consensual gay sex, but Virginia has kept the prohibition on the books.

Now Virginia attorney general and Republican gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli is asking the full 4th Circuit to reconsider the case. Cuccinelli wants the court to revive the prohibition on consensual anal and oral sex, for both gay and straight people. (The case at hand involves consensual, heterosexual oral sex.) — Mother Jones

Here we see that counsel for the sphincter police wants your government to patrol not just the bedrooms of married couples and other consenting adults, but also the state’s motel rooms and vehicles’ back seats.  You’d suppose a guy like this — good god, do you imagine they call him “Cooch?” — with a rod that far up his arse would exempt anal sex, but he doesn’t, which suggests about a dozen slippery slope jokes I won’t enumerate.

Again, how does this square with the issues mentioned above?

My best guess, charitable guy that I am, is that these clodpates don’t actually believe what they’re doing stands Constitutional muster, but works wonders with their drooling redneck constituents when it comes to pandering for campaign contributions and votes.  While that’s sufficiently cynical to inspire projectile vomiting, it’s just the business of realpolitik which encourages any means to achieve an end.  Pardon the pun.

I only offer it up to those who tell the world that they’re “conservatives” because they approve of small, less intrusive government, unlike those commie Librulcrats.  Meanwhile, AG Cooch needs a few hours on in a motel on Federal Highway in Hollywood, if not a few days on the Appalachian Trail.  Or better yet, Hershey Highway.

Yeah!  I’m buyin’.

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6 Responses to These Mouths Are Made For Prayin’

  1. Red White & Blue says:

    Why do you hate America?

  2. 'Nonymous says:

    Maybe you and your sweetie over at Bark Bark Woof Woof should rent a room — you have so much in common today on both these issues

    • Hugh Bris says:

      Actually, ‘Nonymous, polling data shows that MOST Americans have a lot in common on these issues. You and your conservative cretins are behind the times and in the minority. Better watch your ass, if you take my meaning.

  3. Camiel Toe says:

    Ooh ooh ooh looks like you boo-booed the noses of the haters and the hostiles with this one! I say have a contest for the best homo-haters, and give the winner his very own bottle of Astra-Glide. In a special rainbow and stars and stripes package, too!

  4. Moran says:

    $5 says ‘nonymous is an NRA member and thinks the President is a Marxist. They’re so easy to smell.

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