Bowling for Bullets

Is there a Plaxico Burress Award?

A man accidentally shot himself in the leg while bowling at Jupiter Lanes about 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, police said. Witnesses said the man had been carrying a gun in the pocket of his shorts.

“The guy just stepped up to bowl,” [one witness] said. “I think he hit his leg on his back swing.”

Added another eyewitness: “The ball hit him in the leg, which triggered the revolver.”

Police have not identified the victim, but witnesses said he limped back to his seat, holding his leg. His injuries were not considered to be life-threatening.

He was taken to St. Mary’s Medical Center as a precaution. —

If you’re wondering why this clodpate armed himself just to go bowling, you’re obviously a librul communist who hates America’s freedoms like the one enshrined in the Second Amendment.

18251537-bowling-ball-cartoon-face-with-cowboy-hat-holding-and-aiming-guns-with-bowling-pins-behind-himGranted he was a trifle careless and might have shot somebody else, even fatally.  The world is a jungle and shit happens.  But even a dead kid (or an entire classroom or movie theater) is a small price to pay to ensure the freedom and safety of America from its enemies who lurk everywhere — believe it, baby.  Look what happened in Boston.

So before you jeer at this ever-vigilant wounded soldier, remember that he went down to keep his neighbors safe and secure.  Had the Musloid Taliban terrorists stricken that night, he’d have been in the front line to repel the attack.  What would YOU be doing — drinking beer, hustling your package, and cheating on your scorecard?

And remember — had he left his gun at home, he would have run the risk of losing it to BHO’s weapons confiscation team.  What, you don’t believe there are these squadrons of thugs in government employ?  With full medical benefits??  Well, I promise you, you won’t read about them in the liberal lamestream media.

More people injure themselves every year choking on popsicle sticks and contracting hypothermia of the throat and nasal passages — but you don’t see Congress trying to ban Good Humor trucks, do you?  Huh?  Huh?  Who’s the paranoid conspiracy freak now?

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1 Response to Bowling for Bullets

  1. Camiel Toe says:

    Witnesses said the man had been carrying a gun in the pocket of his shorts.
    Classic. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

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