Some people are so sensitive, y’know?
The special cans of Coors Light beer started popping up in New York City in recent weeks ahead of the coming parade….the cans were imprinted with a circular logo that depicted the Puerto Rican flag as an apple along with the words: “National Puerto Rican Day Parade, Inc.” It was produced by Miller-Coors — based on a modified version of the parade’s official logo — and was reviewed and approved by the parade’s organizers.
“The flag is a symbol of a nation, of a culture, and slapping it on a can of beer is disrespectful and trivializes a community and its contributions,” said City Councilwoman Melissa Mark-Viverito, who was born and raised in Puerto Rico. She added that the beer can was particularly inappropriate this year because the parade’s official theme was “Salud: Celebrate Your Health. —NYTimes
Okay — stop right there.
Leaving aside the fact that Coors Light is swill and tastes like ass, what is “disrespectful” about honoring a nation during its celebratory annual event by creating a commemorative item out of a historically and universally enjoyed beverage (read: BEER)? And what the entire fuck is the conflict between beer and “celebrate your health?” — is she implying — horrors! — that somehow beer, acknowledged as the perfect health food, isn’t good for you?
As a beer drinker, I’m offended.
Readers of this blog will recognize these whining protests by Councilperson Melissa Hyphenated-Surname as Political Correctness gone rogue. Regrettably, it happens often, and even more regrettably, the Powers That Be Who Could Slap it Down back down, instead:
MillerCoors, which brews Coors Light, issued an apology over the can hours before a protest outside a beer distribution center in the Bronx that was organized by Boricuas for a Positive Image, a group of Puerto Rican activists. The annual parade down Fifth Avenue, scheduled this year for June 9, is one of the nation’s largest parades and attracts more than 80,000 marchers and two million spectators, according to the parade’s organizer, the National Puerto Rican Day Parade.
That’s right. MillerCoors, humongous corporate brewer of numerous flat, tasteless beer-like brews favored by obese redneck Americans, immediately caved in to this vapid line of whining complaint, despite the fact that the parade’s organizers, which presumably enjoyed considerable representation from the Puerto Rican community itself, approved the campaign. They didn’t take a stand that explained, for example, that the American flag has appeared on beer packaging for decades with nary a single complaint. Quite the contrary: Americans feel pride when the slurp their crappy beer from a can patriotically painted.
It was the second time that MillerCoors, which has been a sponsor of the parade for seven years, has faced criticism in the partnership. In 2011, the company canceled an advertisement displaying three beer bottles and the word “emboricuate,” which would translate as “make yourself Puerto Rican,” after people complained that it could also be interpreted as a play on the Spanish word “emborrachate” (get drunk).
Got that? Somehow it’s Miller-Coors’s fault that the word “emboricuate” is similar to “emborrachate,” and cleverly drawing attention to it is somehow offensive. As though “making oneself Puerto Rican” and “getting drunk” are somehow bad things? It works pretty well for the bloody Irish, innit? If I were Puerto Rican, I’d be fucking proud that getting drunk was associated with my ethnicity, and grateful that a major international brewer paid millions of dollars to capitalize on the fact.
Ramon Jimenez, a lawyer for the Boricuas group, said that it was still considering whether to accept MillerCoors’s apology, and that the issue pointed to a larger problem with the parade’s organizer. His group has called for a change in leadership, and for more accountability in the marketing of the parade.
“They’ve commercialized the parade to the point where big floats for Budweiser and Coors dominate the parade while the cultural exhibitions and the various towns that march are minor players,” Mr. Jimenez said. “They’re overshadowed by the commercial interests.”
Oh, you honking braying NewYorican donkey you. What do you think parades are all about, if not commercialization? What do you suppose is the point of this parade? And by the way — if you have a problem with Miller-Coors, where’s San Miguel or Medalla or any other Puerto Rican brewery? You’re happy to pocket an American brewery’s money, but want to gripe about their (committee-approved) campaign and sponsorship dollars? If Miller-Coors had a shred of class or testosterone, they wouldn’t apologize, they’d tell these wine-sipping dandies to sod off and find their sponsorship dollars elsewhere.
What an abominable clusterfuck this turned out to be — but no surprise. You have the easily-offended politically correct community leaders and politicians squared off behind a fortress of sanctimonious posturing against a board room of dickless corporate invertebrates peddling tasteless cheap flavored canned chemicals. They actually believe there’s more to this than an excuse to celebrate a good time with a few beers, so they ruin it for everybody.
Real Puerto Ricans should feel disgusted.