A Mickey Mouse Solution

We could call this Fucking Goofy, Part 2.

The Disney Institute, a consulting and teaching firm housed within one of the world’s most successful companies, has turned its attention to Broward. The school district hired Disney late last year, and is now in the midst of an extensive self-assessment process that it hopes will ultimately make its schools a more pleasant place for students, parents, and district employees.

Broward is spending roughly $40,000 on the Disney training, and that figure could go up.

“The goal is not to make us look like Disney,” said Sharon Airaghi, Broward’s chief service quality officer, at a School Board workshop Monday. Instead, it’s “what is our version of Disney, for Broward County schools?”

Broward School Board members are solidly behind the Disney contract, with board member Nora Rupert calling the Disney Institute “fabulous” on Monday.   — Miami Hurled

Holy Scrooge McDuck!  That’s money well spent, innit?

Here’s a district where funding for the arts has been decimated over the years, only 39% of Black students graduate high school (national average: 47%; still dismal), and pays contracted roofers and painters better than experienced teachers.  But they found 40 Large — so far — for Disney “to evaluate their organizational culture and customer service.”

Customer service?  What are they thinking?  I place a call and eventually get a flustered bureaucrat named Clara Belle.

“Look, when you bring up real-life items like corruption in the District, the drop-out rate, and wholesale firing of art teachers, guidance counselors, and teachers’ aides, people get unnerved,” Ms. Bell informs me.  “But something like fuzzy like customer relations and culture — well, we can deal with that!”

So the real issue is just to address a problem, any problem, just so you’re keeping busy addressing problems?

“Well, think of it this way: the stuff you want to talk about is very vexing and resistant to constructive redress.  Customer relations is relatively easy.  Given a choice between doing something difficult and doing something easy, wouldn’t a rational person take the path of least resistance?”

For the same money, too, right?

“Exactly!  Thanks so much for calling the Broward School District, and have a yourself a pink, friendly, fuzzy-feeling non-discriminatory day where competition is evil and everybody wins.”

I understand that next year, the school board and district staff will wear Mickey Mouse ears.