Fail

This is how columnist Joe (JCCigar@aol.com) Cardona begins his column on the Miami Hurled Opinion page today:

As a student at Florida International University in the late 1980’s, in search of my identity, I attended a seminar that examined important Cuban historical sites in the state of Florida. That afternoon, I had planned to raise my hand and address the audience about important nuggets of Cuban history I had unearthed in Tampa’s Ybor City. I should have known that like many “best laid plans of mice and men” these pre-orchestrated schemes don’t pan out.

Were it not for the FIU/1980′s reference, I would have taken this vapid prose for a high school essay.  While it’s sufficiently ghastly to outrage, or at least embarrass readers, it also reminds us of the Hurled’s longstanding commitment to prominently feature truly untalented writers on its Op-Ed page.  Anybody remember Dorothy Gaiter?

PS  What is “pre-orchestrated”?  Is that like “pre-planning”?  Department of Redundancy Department.
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5 Responses to Fail

  1. Mr. Redundent R. Redundent says:

    Allow me to offer A JEWISH RABBI.
    Sincerely
    R.R.R.
    President of the American Redundancy Association of America

  2. Living Will says:

    I’m fond of reviews that begin like, “Before he died, [the author] completed 4 novels and 5 short story collections….” Really? “Before he died”? That’s helpful. So I guess he completed everything else after he died.

  3. Nobody says:

    What’s the matter with you? I really respect the Herald’s opinion writers, and especially enjoy Joe Cardona.

  4. I HATE AOL says:

    Anyone who still uses AOL Email can’t write shit. Ever notice they spell it SHITE. Trolls from the Dark Ages one and all!

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