The Eyes Have It

garden snipeLadies!  Gay Men!  You like what you see here?

Well, sad to say, it’s not what you think.

I’m out there mowing the lawn today because there’s a chance (I’ve read) that we’re in for an entire 3-day weekend of rain thanks to the Tropical Storm Formerly Known as Chantal, and it’s better to have it rain all over a freshly-mowed lawn than one that approaches jungle/rain forest density.

And in the course of my labors, I discover the critter depicted here, sunning himself by the bird feeder out front.  He’s only about 6 – 7 inches long, a perfectly harmless garden snipe.  They usually stay away from my yard because when our cats encounter them, they end up bleeding and pretty badly chewed.  Their severed tails can thrash for hours, too.  Great feline entertainment.  Cats have medieval personalities.

Snipes have been spotted all over the world — they tend to turn up during strange weather events.  Some cultures eat them, even consider them something of a delicacy.  Then again, some cultures will eat any fucking thing and consider it a delicacy.  I offer the French as Exhibit A.  In French, the word snipe translates to Le Sarkozy.

In other medieval Florida news,  this Palm Beach woman cut out both her mother’s eyes with a kitchen knife (thanks, Mr Schwinkle!).  “The victim’s eyes were discovered on the kitchen floor near a knife and a large pool of blood,” a Sheriff’s Office deputy wrote in the arrest report.

Have a pleasant weekend.

This entry was posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Eyes Have It

  1. julesagray says:

    i can’t get past that image, why do you hate me so much?

  2. Camiel Toe says:

    Cute, but ‘way too gay for my taste.

  3. cap peterson says:

    that’s quite a snipe tail you got there

  4. Private Partz says:

    I never knew these things were called “snipes.” I haven’t seen one for years — not since I stopped drinking — but I remember using them for bait when I went snook-fishing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s