It’s well-established that the capacity to shamelessly and confidently utter total nonsense is a valuable component of an attorney’s tool set, even if doing so identifies the speaker as a moron.
This principle was put in play when attorney Eric Schwartzreich, defending his client Thomas Merenda of the Lauderhill Police Department, made the following offer:
“If you can introduce me to a male that likes being struck in the testicles, I will introduce you to my pet unicorn.” Full story here.
Personally, I don’t care at all to have my package bent, spindled, or mutilated, but a few moments on your favorite X-rated browser will reveal to you entire colonies of kink where this particular fetish is celebrated, although in fairness, it appears that not all of the practitioners are uniformed policemen. Presumably, not all of them are clients of Attorney Schwartzreich, although one might be.
In any event, I’ve always wanted to meet a unicorn, so I’m looking forward to Counsel’s next public appearance.
Obalesque 
Men are such pigs.
* ___ *
Show me a man who likes to be kicked in the Schwartzreich and I’ll show you a fart gun that smells like bananas!