Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

dildoUntil they don’t. And then all of a sudden it’s remorse of course and hickeys for sickies. One of the details that makes this all-too-typical tryst gone bad more interesting than the usual sordid story is that it’s girl on girl. No frat rats needed.

From the Sun Sentinel:

What was supposed to be a night of rough sex, turned into a rape charge for a Lake Worth woman, according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office arrest report….The victim, 52, told a deputy that on Oct. 25 she was attacked by her partner, Mia McCarthy, 23, who investigators in the report call a self-described “sadomasochist.”

I’ve always wondered if that’s what people list as their occupation on tax returns. And did you hear about the woman who only pretended? She called herself a Pseudo-masochist.

The womens’ [sic — remember, it’s the Sun-Sentinel] relationship began about nine months ago. But on Oct. 25, a fight broke out, with the woman saying McCarthy punched and scratched her, according to the report. Fighting then turned to choking, with the woman telling a deputy that McCarthy choked her so hard she saw spots and almost passed out.

I’m no expert here — well, okay, maybe I am — but aren’t seeing spots and passing out part of the breath-control experience, right around the moment of climax? So I guess she wasn’t complaining to deputies, but bragging about great it was going. (I also guess I wouldn’t make a very good investigator.)

Here comes the juicy part (pardon the expression:

….[T]he victim mentioned another incident on July 21, when an intimate encounter spiraled out of control….[T]he victim told the detective she took McCarthy out to…a Delray Beach nightclub for the victim’s birthday. The victim then told deputies that along with smoking pot with McCarthy, McCarthy used Kratom, a product the DEA describes as having opiate, sedative and euphoric effects….It was that night when the victim told deputies that McCarthy raped her with what the detective calls, a “marital aid.”

I suspect what the cop calls a “marital aid” is what most of us refer to as a dildo. Then again, it was supposed to be a birthday celebration, so maybe it was just a candle. No details are provided, damnit. But obviously the victim took this as going over a line, and now the party’s over.

After initially refusing to talk when she was arrested on Oct. 25, McCarthy later told investigators that they both enjoy rough sex that sometimes leaves marks. She also said that they don’t use safe words and when the victim says “no” it means “yes,” according to the report….McCarthy also told deputies she meant to stop but didn’t, adding that she later apologized to the victim for hurting her.

I love the “no” means “yes” remark — it harks back to a more innocent time when men protested their innocence in sexual assault in exactly these terms. “They always say ‘No’ at first, but they never mean it — that’s what they’re supposed to say! If I believed ‘em when they said No, I’d never get laid! Nobody would!”

But it’s okay, see — she apologized afterwards.

One final thought: If you’re going to play these games, always agree on a safe word. Sometimes it’s literally a matter of life and death. Choose it carefully so neither party forgets it in an emergency, something like GHHETTFG3EDNMASTRRTXDKAOPGHJKWPIOU55N2BGSFFCDNGDFJKNDHKIW8I12NMDLAKENHJVF;AOIE73U8535904TY14FLFJV[PQ45RSVZZJHHFGDEYRIYMVBCVXSDRWE2DGFLHYPGMSGAQFDDKRH.

No, it’s no case-sensitive.

[h/t to Mister Schwinkle for this story]

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4 Responses to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

  1. Ted End says:

    How do you pronounce that safe word?

  2. Pat Flury says:

    I guess she didn’t know the code word was….. Stop beating me with that dildo you fucking cunt!

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