turkeysAs a true American, steeped in tradition and schooled by progress, I pledge to Not Thank on Shopsgiving.

And I don’t give a smoked turkey’s ass if you join me or not.  What business is it of mine (or yours) if people work or shop or turn their backs on their own families when they have the option to do so?  It’s called Freedom, and evangelical campaigns to limit it in the spirit of doing it for somebody else’s own good is as wrong-headed as swindling the “Indians.”

Work if you must, shop if you want to, or just stay home and watch the parade with a glass of Wild Turkey.  I love Thanksgiving.  Don’t ruin it.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Turkeys

  1. julesagray says:

    Am I allowed to say ‘twat’ here without offending some Palin supporter? Just wondering. Thanks!

    • Jacques Stropp, Palin Supporter says:

      Rat bastard! I’m offended!!

      • julesagray says:

        I’m offended at your offense! damn you! And since those who are offended believe that they have more rights than the average person, you have to renounce the offensive thing you said because obviously i’m too much of a pussy-wimp to realize that other folks have opinions that differ than my own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        BIG sigh.

  2. Ted L says:

    I agree being open on Thanksgiving is both stupid and unfair. What i find detestable is stores being open on the 4th of July.

  3. Kim Chee says:

    Not everybody has luxury of closing on holidays. My family has always worked on Thanksgiving, Christmas, July 4, and Veterans Day because it is opportunity we cannot afford to waste. Many customers are pleased we are open and count on us. This too is American way and we are happy to be here.

  4. Hugh Bris says:

    “Freedom,” huh. More like, “If we’re not open for business and the other guys are, we risk losing customers.” Some freedom. Freedom to work 24/7. Enjoy your holiday.

  5. syrbal-labrys says:

    I don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving, doubtless cause I am a godless commie heathen idol worshiper or something, but I never shop on that day OR the next one!

  6. Hose B says:

    Can you handle a true if sentimental story?
    25 years ago I’m mowing lawns full-time and going to school at night. It’s T-Day and I’m out there as usual. About 3 PM I’m packing up and the lady next door comes out the house and says she can’t believe I’m working and making so much noise on a day when families are gathering, some for the only time all year. I say I’m sorry for the noise, but the reason I’m working is so I can feed my family on this very day — I planned to stop on the way home at a Boston Chicken or something.
    She looks at me for a minute and asks me to wait a minute while she goes back into her house. I go back to loading the truck and a few minutes she comes out with a gigantic cooler filled with turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes — the whole deal. She tells me Thanksgiving is all about sharing and gratitude and she doesn’t want me to spend my money to feed my family today when she has enough food prepared for an army. And she says I should drive to the liquor store instead to buy some wine to celebrate!
    I was a big boy with more than just a touch of macho but I just started crying on the spot. It still kind of moves me, writing this.
    My family is grown up and we’re the ones who have people over to the house every year, and I always make sure to invite anybody I bump into who has nowhere else to go. I also send a donation to the Salvation Army every year. That little act of kindness on this stranger’s part was a lifelong lesson.
    Whether you work or not, believe in holidays or don’t, just remember to be good to people on Thanksgiving — and every other day, too.

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  8. One Man's Opion says:

    All I can say is, I know many people who are grateful to be working on Turkey Day or any day they can get paid for it. This is a nation of freedom AND capitalism. Being open on a holiday, offering big discounts to patrons, a little extra income to employees, sounds to me like capitalism. Being able to decide to stay open, work extra, shop and save money, or not, is freedom.

  9. One Man's Opinion says:

    Whoops……hit return by mistake. To continue, let’s not confuse capitalism with greed. Being forced to stay open, or threat of being fired if you don’t want to work the holiday, or being misled as to bargains (sales on inflated prices to begin with, bait & switch, etc) well that’s greed.
    With few exceptions, the holiday season is capitalism on steroids. But remember, as the consumer you have the freedom to contribute to the system or not. I personally plan to cook and eat the entire Turkey Day week. To each his own.
    Happy Holidays!

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