Not To Be Confused With Disney

Considering a cruise this winter?

A ghost ship carrying nothing but disease-ridden rats could be about to make land on Britain’s shore, experts have warned.

Experts say the ship, which is likely to still contain hundreds of rats that have been eating each other to survive, must still be out there somewhere because not all of its lifeboat emergency beacons have been set off. —

hello-sailor-rat-1By the time it makes landfall on the coast of Great Britain, tour guides predict that the next voyage of the Cannibal Rat Cruise will be filled to capacity.

“Unbelievable sales!” one agent gushed.  “Every zombie wannabe, goth, yobbo, and garden variety cannibal wants a piece of this one.  That’s a lot of people — why, in Germany alone, it’s half the population!”

Here in the States, executives from Carnival Cruise Lines dismiss the disease-ridden rat-infested ocean liner as “derivative and out of style.”

“We’ve had entire ships filled with flu-ridden and food-poisoned passengers by the thousands,” a spokescritter told the media.  “We’ve stranded our clients in the Gulf for days with nothing but seawater and plastic furniture to sustain them.  A ship full of rats?  Big deal.  That’s like so 17th century.”

As an enhancement to the experience, Captain Francesco Schettino, currently facing trial for  his role in running the cruise ship Casta Concordia aground off the coast of Italy, is expected to join the Cannibal Rat Cruise crew in an advisory role.

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5 Responses to Not To Be Confused With Disney

  1. Moose and Squirrel says:

    Hello, Sailor.

  2. Elemenno P says:

    Forget about the rats for a minute — what’s the deal with just cutting loose an ocean liner and letting it drift around the open seas until it sinks? Aren’t there laws governing that sort of conduct? Unless the whole thing is a cover story for the rats, who commandeered the shit by mutinying.

  3. MadamE says:

    So this is what Lola and Zoey have been discussing. They say the buffet is amazing!!

  4. Micky Mouse says:

    Hey what’s with the Disney reference! I’m a mouse not a friggin rat dipshit!!!

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