Squatology 101

As it heads for hospice gasping its last, this blog will address several of queries that arrive via comments and emails. For example, Where did the name Squathole come from?

TSquantohere are several plausible responses:

1.  The blog’s semi-anonymous administrator was parodying the name Squanto, the famous Native American woman who made the fatal mistake of assisting the Pilgrims through their first miserable winter in Massachusetts. Also known as Tisquantum, it is likely that had she foreseen what Massholes they would become (especially RedSox fans), she’d have let them perish. But while all this is interesting, it doesn’t really explain why the administrator adopted the name.

2.  The name is a derivation of the term “absquatulate,” which means to abscond, run away, usually accompanied by something illicitly obtained and followed by concealment. Example: The Mafia’s banker absquatulated with his clients’ investments, surfacing (literally) two years later in the Jersey Pine Barrens, carved into half a dozen slices. A squathole, then, suggests a hiding place to which one absquatulates.

Hey, keep it wrinkled, okay? Look it up yourself if you don’t believe me.

iii.  Other possible explanations: Faulty SpellCheck function; alcohol; misspelling of Squirt Hole, Squint Hole, or Scott Hall (semi-famous former wrestler); formal nominal rendering of nickname Squattle.

I hope this clears matters up. In future posts, we’ll have a look at Obalesque.

Hey — it’s not as strange as Skymeter, is it?


This entry was posted in Shaken and Stirred. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Squatology 101

  1. Hugh Bris says:

    Squats rhymes with Clots, right? As in Blood? You’re fooling no one.

  2. Mr Schwinnickle says:

    WTF? Your shutting it down? Is that what I am reading?

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