Say It Ain’t So

Nobody could accuse Dave Montenegro of either subtlety or ambiguity.

The New Hampshire Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that a man can have a license plate reading “COPSLIE,” saying that the regulation the Division of Motor Vehicles cited to bar him from owning that plate was “unconstitutionally vague.”

DCops Lieavid Montenegro’s application for the plate was rejected under a regulation that bars plates “which a reasonable person would find offensive to good taste,” the court said….Because of its vagueness, the court held, the regulation violates the free speech right guaranteed in the New Hampshire Constitution.

Montenegro applied for the plate May 4, 2010. On his application, he said the intended meaning was that “cops lie.” —bostonglobe.com

Wondering how this will go over on the streets in the Live Free or Die state, I place a call to a guy I know up there who connects me in turn to a local cop named “Buster.”

Really? Buster? A cop named Buster?

“No, not really, simpleton. But it’ll do for a guy calls himself Squathole.”

Cool. So what’s the deal with this guy? And why is he begging for trouble?

“I don’t know him myself. Obviously he’s had a problem with the police. But this is Swamp Yankee territory — New England rednecks who take pride in sporting bad attitudes and calling it freedom. Laws are for everybody else, see, even if they agree with them.”

Libertarians?

“Is that Latin for ‘assholes’?”

Well cut to the chase — do you agree or disagree that cops lie?

“Cops like everybody else come in all flavors and varieties. Some are wonderful people, role models even, and some aren’t. That’s not his point. For whatever reason, he wants to poke us all in the eye and wants everybody to watch him do it. We’re so impressed.”

Should he expect to be ticketed on a twice-daily basis from now on?

“Could happen. I mean, some police officers in this jurisdiction can read, and some of them might get pissed off enough to find something to ticket him for. We can always find something, you know, even if there isn’t anything. That’s the nature of the beast.”

In other words, cops lie.

“In other words, bullshit. But hey, why can’t we all just get along?”

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5 Responses to Say It Ain’t So

  1. Piles says:

    Hey, Free Tickets!

  2. NME says:

    “It wasn’t lies, it was just….bullshit.” — Blues Brothers

  3. Joe Balls says:

    Cops lie like rugs. They’re street-level politicians, greedy, crooked, bulying, and power-hungry. Tell us something we don’t know.

  4. Frank of Oregon says:

    Did the article mention that the guy’s vehicle has a pair of truck nuts dangling from the back bumper?

  5. Elemenno P says:

    The motto on New Hampster’s license plates states “Live Free or Die.” I lived in an apartment in Keene for for 5 years. Alcoholic next door claimed that he didn’t have to pay rent — live free, get it? So the landlord shot him dead. Goes to show you need to read the entire contract.

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