I won’t say how old I become today, but in dog years? I’m dead.
Today’s the day I become as old as Guido. Whenever people ask me why we got married, I tell them it’s because I didn’t want to be the oldest person at parties. Over the years that line has become bruisingly funny.
Anyway, all those parades, flags, and drunken barbecue parties you see today are for me. Not to mention the mattress sales. Thank you very much.