No Shoes No Shirt No Pants Self-Service

Doc’s Kitchen in Bonita Springs. Three guys with naked buns in search of burgers caught on camera.

naked_burgerThree days after the naked caper heard around Southwest Florida, the bare-naked beef bandits remained on the lam. Authorities don’t know if the men are tourists or residents, but are trying to uncover and bare all tips. On Wednesday, authorities released photos — at least those that can be printed — to ask the public for help in identifying the men. The bandits robbed the restaurant at 3:06 a.m. Sunday, stealing 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers and a paddleboard.

In addition to the restaurant security footage and 200 frame-by-frame photos, the bandits left another clue: a trail of red peppers on the beach. On Sunday morning, Doc’s kitchen staff found the restaurant’s red peppers about 100 yards away near a beach bathhouse.

“Bare all tips.” Nice!

Boner Springs.

Gotta wonder what came over these geniuses that they needed to secure the makings of bacon burgers (with peppers) so bad they didn’t bother putting their pants on first. And what’s with the paddleboard? Was that an afterthought? Or maybe getaway Plan B? Or — try this — maybe they went in for the paddleboard, and took the food as an afterthought.

Still doesn’t explain the bare asses.

Guess we’ll just have to wait and see what the cops come up with for the um, back story.

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1 Response to No Shoes No Shirt No Pants Self-Service

  1. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs.

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