By now, even this Luddite has heard all about the international hacking ring responsible for publishing celebrity nude photos on the innerweebs. It’s the biggest story over the Labor Day weekend since the BHO’s infamous tan suit, which at first I thought was Federal litigation against tanning salons. Yes We Tan. The Audacity of Taupe. Collect ‘em all.
Anyway, as a minor celebrity myself — “minor” as in “insignificant,” not “underage” — I am curious to see if any of the hundreds of my naked pix are available on-line. Why anybody would want to see them is another story entirely, but remember there are millions of people out there who get their jollies watching noses being picked, puppies getting trampled, and women in bikinis vomiting on one another, Did I mention the Lactating Amputee Dwarf Bestiality website? I understand it’s popular in Japan.
And sure enough, I’m up there in the Cloud in all my nekkid glory. Some of these go back to vacation weekends in Key West at the 3rd floor nude bar above The Bull and the Atlantic Shores Motel nude beach. One or two stem from that unfortunate DWN (Driving While Naked) incident a few years ago — Hey, I tell the cop, At least my weapon isn’t concealed. And then there’s that series I did for the so-called artist who wanted me to model everything from formal attire to loincloths and fetish wear. Still waiting for THAT check.
No, there’s nothing pornographic, unless standing around with a woody counts, and there’s only a few of those. Now is the first I see them, and I don’t know their origin, but they’re genuine: I recognize the coloration and warts.
You’re welcome to conduct your own search. I’m shamelessly uninhibited about this: in this day and age, when you have a photo taken, you expose yourself, and the chips fall where they may. It’s sad people are so nosy and trite, but the species has always been this way, and technology serves its masters, not righteous gods.
On the right is a fairly recent shot Guido snapped one night after a party. Must have been dead of winter: I’m unusually pale. Or maybe it was the light.