Snore

It’s pretty bad when I start getting bad job-related dreams when I don’t even have the job.

Phone rings and it’s the program administrator from the grant-making agency. Seems he’s a trifle bent out of shape because I’d sent in an application for a grant from his agency — seems to be at some government level — without alerting him first, especially because there hadn’t been any action on MY part regarding the FIRST grant his agency had awarded, and that he’s supposed to be overseeing.

Chinese-Dream-SymbolsI tell him the reason we hadn’t implemented activities from the first grant is because the artist responsible (so this is some kind of arts grant, I guess) had been preoccupied with tying up loose ends from another project, a total fabrication even in the context of this bad dream. Great — when it comes to work, I can lie in my sleep. Very valuable attribute in most professions.

I also tell him he’s caught me away from my desk and files — well, that’s accurate, anyway; I’m asleep in bed ferchrissakes — so I couldn’t be more specific, but please remind me — I have a lot of active grants working — which project was this?

He reminds me that it was a cultural awareness initiative focused on bringing ancient Chinese characters and symbols into contemporary settings. “Oh, right,” I say, actually remembering in my sleep this very specific program, and also realizing that No, we hadn’t made so much as one move toward bringing this one to fruition. I totally ignored it. And may I add here, I have no damn clue what this program would even look like, why I would apply for it under ANY circumstances in my life so far, and what the hell it was all about.

A development officer’s nightmare. And I’m not a development officer, although sometimes I play one at meetings.

“Wait a moment,” I say. “Look, I’m not at my desk and I can’t check this now, but did we actually get confirmation from your office that we’d even been awarded this grant? Because now that we’re discussing it, I can’t remember getting notified one way or the other.”

At which point I awaken, somewhat shaken. Which rhymes because I’m an artist and a musician, see.

There’s nobody to complain to about w/r/t these matters, of course, no Bad Dream Complaint Department, but if there were, I’d have a legitimate claim. Like everybody else, I’ve endured troubling work-related dreams, but to this point, literally all of them had something to do with real work. A missed deadline. A bad budget. The absolute wrong thing said to the wrong person at the worst time. Hell, even stark bare-assed naked in public — I’ve had that dream dozens of times. (Guido says it’s not a nightmare, it’s my fantasy.)

No, this is a first, and with any luck there won’t be a further episode. But just to be on the safe side, I checked my emails and files, and in fact, there doesn’t seem to be a notification of this grant award anywhere, so if anybody fucked up, they did. That’s my story, dammit, and I’m sticking with it, asleep, awake, or in between.

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6 Responses to Snore

  1. Hose B says:

    Full moon last night. Super moon.

  2. Kim Chee says:

    You eat Chinese food before bed you get bad Chinese dreams. True dat.

  3. odtley says:

    i spent 6 months in a loony bin with a guy whose dreams were so violent and sick and graphic he freaked out his shrinks so they put him on some drug cocktail that basically burnt up his brain so he wouldnt dream any more which sort of worked because he ended up killing himself and they called that a successful outcome

    then it turned out that one of the shrinks stole his prescription to use himself recreationally and he ended up killing himself too which when i heard about it thought that was the real successful outcome

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