Meet the Real John Boner

football In an apparent world first, surgeons claimed in the Journal of Sexual Health to have shrunk a 17-year-old’s penis because it was preventing him from playing sports and having sex.

When flaccid, it measured in at 17 centimeters long, with a circumference of 25cm, and was described as “the size of a [American] football”.

It would not grow when erect, it would only become firmer. [via]

Wow. Talk about Deflategate.

Seems like the kid is carelessly throwing away vocational opportunities — a career in porn, or at least as a freak show exhibit. Between acts he could even just stand around holding a sign, “This Way to the Egress.”

The teenager’s penis was not naturally large, rather it had been left bloated and misshapen by several bouts of priapism – a medical condition in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state.

The phallus would be visible under his clothing and caused embarrassment for him at school, [University of South Florida urologist Rafael] Carrion said. “His penis had inflated like a balloon.”

Surprise — this is another tale from Florida, the Nation’s Dicktip.

All of which provides an opportunity to repeat a very old and unsophisticated dick joke, one of my favorites.

A man wants to join the Big Dick Club, so one day he walks over and bangs on the door.

“Waddya want?” asks the bouncer, through the security window.

“I wanna join the Big Dick Club,” says the man.

“Oh you do, huh? Waddya got?”

“I got 14 inches,” says the man, proudly.

“Ha! 14 inches? Get lost! I got 15½, and I’m just the doorman!”

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3 Responses to Meet the Real John Boner

  1. Ruh Roh says:

    I love the word ‘flaccid.’

    • Lois Terms says:

      “….a medical condition in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state.”

      The “flaccid state” — is that Florida?

  2. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs.

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