According to the latest edition of the Hollywood Lakes newsletter, there have been many complaints about service provided by Waste Management, to which the city of Hollywood outsourced its contract to remove trash, recycled materials, and bulk materials including yard waste.
I’ve been bitching about these asshats for years. I’ve had to call many times to get them out here, and when they do they often leave considerable shit behind. I mean that literally. We throw a lot of bagged dog and cat waste into the bin, and sometimes it stays there for weeks on end.
They’ve crushed my chain-link fence several times with their awkward equipment, broken my waste bins into pieces, and somehow made the lid of my regular trash bin vanish. Most times I need to go out after they’re gone and collect all the crap they leave behind strewn through the alley. I realize picking up trash and yard waste is a high-level skill, but even in Florida it seems like there should be labor sufficiently competent to get ‘er done, innit?
This is the time of year when I do major landscape trimming. I generate a sizeable brush pile each week. I halved the citrus tree, and took down the giant Bougainvillea to a series of bare sticks. This is bloody work — both trees are loaded with seriously vicious thorns. I yanked up the remaining bamboo, cut an entire forest of Aurelia down, and pulled about a zillion weeds, dead leaves, and palm fronds out, including several 20-footers from our three royals. If they don’t come out every week to collect, I can’t keep to my schedule.
My day is Friday. They fail to show up two straight weeks, so on Monday I call to ask why. I get an apology and a promise they’ll be out no later than Tuesday at 5. I explain that Tuesday is the day they come around for regular trash and recycles, and when the brush pile is there the regular guys usually knock it to hell when they (half-) dump the bins. They apologize and say they’ll note the file.
When they fail to show up Tuesday, and after I’ve cleaned up the mess the regular guys leave me, I call on Wednesday. I get another apology — that’s what they learn to do instead of providing service — and the agent says she’ll send an email to the supervisor. I say I don’t care about an email to the supervisor, how about sending a truck to get the brush pile? She says that’s what the email to the supervisor is all about.
Late Thursday I call and explain that I’m still looking at a two-week old brush pile. “I see you called,” says Agent Sherlock. “They should have come out by now.” Thanks for the news flash — so where are they? Why do I have to call you people like this? And why don’t you DO something?” Naturally, I get an apology.
Friday at 4 PM I call again and raise hell. The elf on the other end of the phone says she’ll send an email to the supervisor’s supervisor. I tell the elf they’ve done nothing but send useless emails that I suspect nobody can read; that I’m sick of fucking around with this shit and listening to them explain how it shouldn’t happen; that obviously whoever is supposed to do this job doesn’t give a farting rat’s ass about getting it done, and fuck her and her office just stop sending emails and let me speak directly to the goddam motherfucking piece of shit supervisor myself. Except I didn’t say it that nicely.
Long pause. “Just a minute, sir.” I’m expecting hold-button limbo, but then a man picks up, identifies himself, riffs through the record, and PROMISES to call me back in 30 minutes. He does! And he PROMISES there will be a truck out here in another 30 minutes. And there is! And he calls back after 5 to make sure it actually happened, and apologizes again for the bad service.
I made a note of his name, as I’m certain I’ll need to call again.
I should also note that when they came out for my brush pile, they didn’t trouble themselves to pick up any of my neighbors’ piles. In other words, they did the minimum required. Since I raised the stink, I got the service.
Moral: Patience and courtesy are entirely inappropriate, ineffective, and unsatisfying approaches to achieving objectives. Don’t waste your time. Curse, threaten, and rant. This is south Florida.Wasted