Tooth or Dare

Nothing like oral surgery first thing in the morning. My front tooth (#8, in technical terms), hanging loosely after fracturing in three places below the gum line and thoroughly infected, had to be excavated along with a chunk of bone.

dentistI’m not good at this: when my wisdom teeth were removed some years ago, under anesthesia and literally 19 Novocain injections I attacked the surgeon. The time before that, different surgeon tied my wrists to the armrests of the chair before knocking me cold, and afterwards advised me not to return if and when I need additional work. But it had to be done, so we tried it again today, using a different delivery system, shown here.

Now it’s off to Percocet Paradise for a few days. The real bummer arrives tomorrow: it’s National Tequila Day, and I’m medically prohibited from drinking.

Oh, well. As the old joke goes, at least I don’t have cancer. Whoops. Oh, shit. Never mind.

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14 Responses to Tooth or Dare

  1. Camiel Toe says:

    Poor baby! And now as toothless as one, too. But go back — what was that about being tied to the chair?

  2. Diesel Fitter says:

    Breast wishes for a speedy recovery. Meanwhile, I’ll be happy to drink your tequila for you.

  3. Ted End says:

    What’s the old joke about cancer? You always do this — I bet there isn’t one.

    • Constance Turmohel says:

      It’s no joke. They painted a bullseye on his prostate and shot him with a pellet gun.

      Yo, Squat, good luck with your new embouchure.

      • Squathole says:

        Thanks, CT — without it, when I pronounce the letter F it comes out with extra air. So when I say “fuck” (which I do frequently), it’s “fhhhhhhhhhhhhhuck.” Which means if I tell somebody to “Fhhhhhhuck off” he gets a free blow job, too.

      • Ted Williams' Head says:

        Really, Ted? You never heard this one? Or are you just having us on? Inquiring (and detached) minds want to know.

    • Ted End says:

      No, I really don’t know it, and Squattle does this all the time. If YOU know the joke, YOU post it.Then I’l believe.

      • Ted Williams' Head says:

        Sure thing, (other) Ted. I got time. What’s it worth to you? If I give you a Paypal account number, will you send me $10?

      • Ted End says:

        No. But that proves it — there’s no such joke.

  4. Ted Williams' Head says:

    OK Ted — like I said, I got time.

    Doctor sits his elderly patient down and tells him he’s got some bad news and some disturbing news. Patient asks for the bad news first. Doctor tells him tests came back positive for cancer. “That IS bad, says the patient, “So, what’s the disturbing news?” Dcotor tells him other test shows he’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s Disease. “Oh, no,” groans the old guy, truly upset. But then he brightens. “Well, at least I don’t have cancer,” he says.

    OK, Ted? Now we can say everybody knows that joke, not everybody but Ted Fucking End.

    • Ted End says:

      This doesn’t make any sense. He DOES have cancer. What’s so funny? This is bulshit isn’t it?

      • Ted Williams' Head says:

        There’s bullshit here alright, Ted. I’m torn — can anybody BE this obtuse? The alternative is, Can anybody ACT this obtuse? I figure (b) because the answer to (a) is No.

  5. Travis T says:

    I can’t believe this exchange. Are you guys for real?

  6. Squathole says:

    Ted Williams’ Head: Ted End has been on this blog for many years now, and I can vouch for the genuine, deep, and unfathomable depth of his obtuseness. Thanks for your efforts, though.

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