Jade Helm, the Obama-ordered military aggression launched against entire swaths of innocent red-staters, to round up patriots, seize their guns, and imprison any resisters in Wal-Mart stores converted to makeshift prisons, ended yesterday as scheduled. (Alerted to this pants-wetting conspiracy back in July, I tried to warn everybody on this internationally distributed weblog.)
While it’s not accurate to say no shots were fired (it was, after all, a military exercise, and there was at least one incident where over-anxious rednecks foolishly attacked army personnel), the fact is, no prisoners were taken, no guns were seized, no takeover was initiated, no martial law declared, and Just Plain Nothing Happened.
Jade Helm? More like Matt Helm.
Somebody tell Rick Perry, Ted Cruz, Louie Gohmert, Rand Paul, Glenn Beck, and the rest of the Wingnut puppeteers running the echo chamber that they can come out now and admit how fucking stoopid and/or manipulative they were from the start. Don’t hold your breath for this to happen, though.
The one that sticks in craw is the irritating fellow who goads us willingly blind “sheeple” as too naïve and complacent to appreciate the terrible forces of evil surrounding us in this malevolent era of Kenyanistic Muslim socialism. Who’s the sheeple now, Lamb Chop?
Well, personally I don’t expect a single conservative True Believer to learn a goddam thing from this non-incident — they’re already cooking up the next can’t miss end-of-the-world, Obama-hates-America, Liberals-Declare-War-On-Christmas, fairy tale for us to choke on. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Tom Brady was in on the action this time, now that he’s had a taste.