We are comfortably seated at the Conch Republic bar, sufficiently distant from the screeching duet perched outside on the patio where we’d prefer to be. But I dislike screaming to be heard with my mouth full, and after all, we’re there for dinner. Raw oysters, chowder, the usual.

Guido works a lot of puzzles — crosswords, cryptograms, nasty mind-teasers I want no part of, etc. Me, I’m a master at Jumbles, probably because with my screwed-up eyesight, the unique way I see the world invites scrambling spatial objects, including signs. E.g., I can’t see the logo for Beltone as anything but “Belt One.”

barThis large sign over the sign at the bar stumped us both. We worked at it for a while, sucking down draft Yuenglings with our oysters, and finally gave up. We asked the bartender to interpret.

She glanced at the sign, sighed, and said “Okay — but if I tell you, will you buy the bartenders a round?”

Sure we will. You got it.

She smiled, walked away for a moment, then returned. “Let’s try this again,” she said. “If I Tell You Will You Buy The Bartenders A Round?

We laughed for ten minutes and left her a big tip. I love Key West.

Extra Credit — free drink for the first one to explain the relevance of the title of this post. Musicians may not apply.

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5 Responses to SWLABR

  1. Whack-a-mole says:

    “She Walks (Was) Like a Bearded Rainbow,” by Cream, in — was it ’68?

    Although, I preferred “Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey . . .”

  2. Ted End says:

    How do you even pronounce that without spitting or drooling?

    • Kent Standit says:

      Ted, having read your comments over the years, I wonder how you can say *any*thing without spitting or drooling, including your name.

  3. Fran G'Panni says:

    Funny — I’ve stood in that bar many times and don’t remember the sign. Then again, sometimes I don’t remember standing in the bar, either. Great seeing you and Guido again: don’t wait until September next time, okay?

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