Dearly Offended

Okay, enough. I’m done wading through Facebook posts, one after another, wailing and ranting about the “war on Christmas” and blaming some mythological movement of PC armies for squeezing the bejeezus out of Jesus.

Bell-ringing_1It’s the ACLU suing cities to prevent Nativity scenes!

It’s Starbucks scraping the symbols off their coffee cups!

It’s people claiming to be offended by the non-inclusive words “Merry Christmas!”

It’s schools banning Christmas songs and decorations!

Armies of atheists are out pressuring shopping malls to savage Santas and destroy decorations!

Anti-Christians are buying billboards encouraging the Faithful to “skip church this Christmas!”

But have no fear, Christian Soldiers — we’re fighting back one vapid Facebook post at a time!

Just stop. There’s no war, there’s no conspiracy, there’s no movement. You’re seeing sporadic assholery no different or dangerous than any other, and there’s no need to get lathered up about it. In fact, you’re just being played for a gullible tool, so by saving your breath you’re also saving your face. If you care.

Now if in the spirit of Christmas you’d like to do something meaningful and constructive, try exercising your charity muscles instead of your mouth. I recommend sending a check to The Salvation Army. This is their busy season, when they not only do what they do every day of the year — feed and clothe the homeless, provide family counseling, conduct health and addiction programs, assist with disaster relief around the world — but also take to the street corners with their bells and kettles to enlist support one dollar and one donor at a time. They make sure it all goes back to those who need it most. They work their asses off, and ask for quite little in return.

Here’s a website.

I realize it’s a lot more fun to wax furious and blow up with righteous indignation. Well, shit in one hand and put your pique in the other and see which weighs more. Re-posting idiotic Facebook memes is at best worthless and always irritating — do something useful instead.

Or as us atheist types like to say, STFU and write a check. Merry Christmas!

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This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Dearly Offended

  1. Cap says:

    I served in the Salvation Army in Vietnam

    • Squathole says:

      All 3 meals?
      Seriously, I’m impressed. Should tell me about it next time.Salvation Army is certainly among the best charitable organizations in the world.

  2. Joe Balls says:

    Thanks for ‘”sporadic assholery.”

  3. Diesel Fitter says:

    Waddya mean “no war on Christmas”? I just cleaned and oiled my elf gun!

  4. Elemenno P says:

    Anybody offended by “Merry Christmas” deserves it. Can’t say I’ve acyually ever met anybody who did, although like you I’ve been inundated by whiners who claim this happens all the time. Makes me wonder — maybe not everything you read on the innertoob is 100% accurate? PS, Merry Christmas.

  5. 'Nonymous says:

    The proof that there really is a war on Christmas is libtards like you going out of your way to deny it. I guess there was no gay agenda, either, and now we have them marrying each other.

    • Squathole says:

      Wow, ‘Nonymass, you’re just too smart for me, sniffed out the strategy right away. You’re exactly right, of course, there’s a gimundo conspiracy among libtards, atheists, the Clintons, and ISIL to snuff out Christmas. And we’re coming for your guns, too. Merry Christmas!

    • Ruh Roh says:

      I think ‘Noneymous is right. Obviously the Salvation Army is part of this War on Christnas, too.

  6. Ted End says:

    I had no idea the army in Salvador was behind those red kettles and Santas. How that happened must be a story lost to history.

    • Flaming Yon says:

      Ted End: I hope, and I mean really hope, you were actually *trying* ot be funny here, confusing El Salvador Army with the Salvation Army. But as a famous German thinker once said, “I fear the wurst.”

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