Eat Shit and Live

orthorexiaTough time of year for the diet-conscious. People are more likely to go glutton than gluten-free, what with the parties and family reunions and frantic shopping that lends itself to grabbing snacks on the run. Consistently over the years, the most popular gift received for Christmas is extra pounds.

It could be worse, though. You could suffer from Orthorexia Nervosa.

Orthorexia nervosa is an unhealthy obsession with clean, healthy eating…… People with orthorexia have very rigid eating styles and struggle with an all-consuming need to control the type and quality of all foods they eat. Self-esteem becomes tightly wound up in maintaining a pure diet and a feeling of superiority arises when comparing an orthorexic’s flawlessly controlled diet to others who have less willpower. They may also have specific disciplinary rules in the case of dietary slip-ups, such as more exercise or more restrictive eating. Intuitive and social eating become a thing of the past as life centers around crafting and maintaining the perfect diet. —

I wager you can name at least half a dozen irritating acquaintances who fit this description, even if you don’t live in Minneapolis or routinely haunt college campuses. Here’s the good news: depending on just how neurotic they are, they’re probably killing themselves. More good news: when you pay your final respects, they’ll look nice in their funeral best.

Truly, it’s none of my business what anybody else eats. When I run the world, though, my biggest concern will be that everybody gets enough to eat. Like fussy foodies pushing morsels ‘round their dinner plates, this behavior is strictly a first-world phenomenon adopted by people who never worry seriously about going hungry. That’s nothing to feel superior about. That’s a blessing. How about shutting up and giving back?

There’s my seasonal message: Shut Up and Give Back. Plus/and/also Eat Shit and Enjoy Yourselves. Happy New Year, everybody.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

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