What Has Eight Legs and Piles?

crab spider webThe new year is only hours old when I (a) stride face-first into a spider web, and (2) step squarely on a mound of dog shit (barefoot, of course).

The good news is that both events occurred outside, in the back yard. This is not a given, by any means.

It’s been said that continuity of experience facilitates mental stability.¬† I would argue that the nature of the experience plays a vital role here. A little upset in the orderly never hurt anybody, and sometimes provides relief from dull, even painful routine. To put it in perspective, it would border on chaos around here if I did not step into spider webs and dog shit every other day.

It’s on Guido that we have so many spider webs. When she encounters a spider inside the house, rather than squashing it she captures it in a small bottle and “relocates” it away from the house. Inevitably it will construct a new web where I walk: I’m out and about more than Guido is.

The reason we have so much dog shit is that we have a dog. Goes with the territory, along with barking, shedding, and farting. Well,who doesn’t?

You can resolve to adhere to your diet, exercise regularly, be nicer to your co-workers and loved ones, clean out your closets, read more books, etc. You can’t resolve not to step into spider webs and dog shit. Shit happens (and so do webs).

Welcome 2016. Same old same old.


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4 Responses to What Has Eight Legs and Piles?

  1. Cap says:

    It’s ironic you posted a spider story on the wed

  2. Piles says:

    While it’s always nice to see my name in print, I need to point out that in this story you’re referring to an entirely different pain in the ass.

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