So Wet’s New?

It’s been raining so relentlessly over the last week that people have stopped complaining about the heat and humidity. Then again, there aren’t many people around to complain: the streets are empty, except for the virtual ponds that have formed, the stores deserted. Everybody’s huddled inside, moping, grumbling, tweezing their moles for entertainment.

My lawn is so thick and tall there are tribes of aborigines moving in. I’ve seen their cave art. Tree frogs and buffo toads are out in force, singing all through the night. They’re doing a benefit concert this weekend (“Legs Dance!”), proceeds to support an environmental group.

Two royal palm fronds came down on my roof — that’s about 40 feet of foliage — but I’m not going up there until the rain stops. Hauling giant chunks of wet, heavy tree parts on a slippery surface 12 feet off the ground sounds like the preamble to a hospital visit. Did I mention that one of them is straddling an electric cable?

On Sunday I took the inside house plants outside, as I do weekly, for watering. They’re still out there because they haven’t dried, and they won’t for days. But they seem to be enjoying themselves, don’t they? Turns out everybody appreciates a drink now and then.

Say, there’s an idea.


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10 Responses to So Wet’s New?

  1. Living Will says:

    You disappear without explanation for a month and a half, then come back posting about the weather? Lame. I want my money back.

  2. Flaming Yon says:

    Why tweeze your moles when you can gopher it all?

  3. Hollywood Hal says:

    You’re in east Hollywood, right? Make sure those aborigines don’t try to establish a vacation house in your neighborhood. They’re popping up everywhere, like zits on a teenager’s nose.

  4. odtley says:

    all these years since my last 3 or 4 incarcerations i still get brought down like a blow-darted cheetah when it rains and rains and rains like it has lately and i cant get the meds i used to which made me not only not give a shit but extra cash too and i think i forgot where i was going with this so maybe later oh yeah nice to see your blogging again i missed it we think alike no offense

    • Squathole says:

      Always good to hear from you, odtley, although that last thought you expressed rather worries me.

  5. There IS an idea…that drink thing!

    • Fran G'Panni says:

      The drink thing is ALWAYS a good thing. Like we say in Key West, it’s 9 AM SOMEwhere.
      Hey, Squattle, now we know you’re still breathing, when you heading down?

  6. Helen Highwater says:

    Are you back?? Was it the rain?

  7. Diesel Fitter says:

    I’m gonna assume you know that you can get a craptistic buzz by licking buffo toads. You can also die, but what the hell — you’re old now, and only have so many thrills left anyway. Am I right? Am I right??

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