A Shot in the Park

We come to learn that one need not be a resident of the Gunshine State to obtain a vaccination here, one only needs to produce evidence of senior status (65+). What a golden opportunity for out-of-work travel agents!

Here’s the deal. An enterprising agent establishes herself as a Vaccination Tourist Host, and arranges for package deals where out-of-staters (including international guests) are brought into the state, lodged in local hotels or AB&Bs, and driven to local vaccination sites to wait in line.

Sweeten the deal with special rates pre-arranged with lodging venues (and take a cut, of course), and of course with restaurants providing discount coupons for take-out service and outdoor dining.

No need to disclose in advance to customers that they might wait in line for hours, and even then not score. By then, the Host has cashed the check. While this might make guests a trifle grumpy, remember, they’re senior (non-)citizens anyway, so they’ve been grumpy for years.

This is less expensive than making generous charitable donations to a medical facility, a practice that those noble health care providers have rewarded by inviting their major donors to skip the wait, jump the line, and come in for treatment before everybody else. Gotta protect your revenue sources! Bidness is bidness!

Sounds like just the sort of thing that makes Florida the free-enterprise, right-to-work, fly-by-night scam center of the nation. Given his Medicare fraud experience, former governor now Senator Dickwithears would heartily approve.

If you’re shocked and appalled you probably labor under the delusion that covid-19 vaccination is a matter of public health and safety. That’s adorable. In fact, it’s a business like everything else – voter registration, national security, public education, and picking up the trash. Welcome to America, where the opposite of wrong is poor.

Out of state? Reserve today!

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10 Responses to A Shot in the Park

  1. Sieze & Ease says:

    My first time here. You’re rather cynical.
    As you can tell from my name, to me cynical is sinful.
    Keep it up (as the actress said to the bishop).

  2. Edgar Allen Podunk, Goth Hick says:

    Hey, if you can buy a presidential pardon, you can buy a vaccination shot. Back home we got a saying: If it ain’t for sale, it’s probably worthless.

    • Sue Perfluous (not my real name) says:

      What’s your ass worth back home, Edgar? Is it for sale, or is it worthless? Neither choice sounds real good.

  3. Red White & Blue says:

    If you libtards were running the state, this would work for voting in Florida, too.

  4. Old Timer says:

    I’m eligible for a shot, but I’m not in a hurry. I can keep myself pretty well isolated, and I’m no longer an essential worker by any definition. Florida’s policy of seniors-first is just wrong: we ought to be concerned for workers out there keeping supply lines running, protecting the public, supporting the economy. Not that it makes any difference when they can’t even handle what they set out to do. Florida can’t get anything right.

  5. Stan Garde says:

    Only shot I’m eligible for is Wild Turkey. Not a complaint.

  6. E.O. Hippus says:

    Y’know, if the state were as diligent about vaccinating its citizens as it was about eradicating citrus canker, we’d all have had our shots by now. Then again, their thug-like tree-removal program didn’t stop canker from spreading, it just killed a zillion trees. What shit hole state. No wonder Trump adopted it as his own.

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