Name That Loon

From his editor’s perch on the ever-shrinking Sun-Sentinel, Kingsley Guy has been boring south Florida readers for decades now with his vapid, country-club conservative perspective.  His dull writing perfectly reflects his shallow thinking, which has been rewarded by a steady erosion of his paper’s readership.

In Sunday’s column he expresses the opinion that changing the name “Broward County” to “Fort Lauderdale County” makes good sense.

“What’s in a name?” inquired Shakespeare’s Juliet. A good question. After all, Broward County by any other name would still be Broward County. Yet, there’s a certain logic in changing Broward to Fort Lauderdale County in order to give the area greater name recognition throughout the nation and the world.

But he doesn’t stop there:

The name “Port Everglades” conjures up images of airboat rides, bass boats and alligators, not luxury cruise ships. Departing from a “Port Lauderdale,” on the other hand, would add panache to a Caribbean voyage. The Port of Miami and Port Canaveral compete with Port Everglades for business, and the bragging rights of being the world’s busiest cruise port. A name change might help a Port Lauderdale vault to the top, and stay there.

Clown.  What would any of this truly accomplish, and at what cost?  The best thing going for it is that while the County or the State or whoever gets to entertain this crackpot notion does so, they might have less time to do anything else more damaging to the citizenry, as is their wont.

I have a suggestion for Kingsley Guy, though.  Take your own harebrain advice and change YOUR name.  You could be “Fort Lauderdale Guy” — what a great career move!  And don’t worry about wags referring to you as an “Old Fort,” either.  We’ll get over it.

Besides, why would you want a name like “Kingsley”?  It  sounds like an adverb.