Sitting outside on the second full day of glorious summer in south Florida, there’s a loud thud that shakes the earth and sends a cloud of white particles over my head. Can only mean one thing: a seed pod on one of our Royal Palms has finally opened. Here’s the fallen pod.
Pretty impressive, innit. No, I wasn’t sitting anywhere close enough to get bonked, or worse yet, impaled. Here’s the bloom, maybe 15 minutes after arrival.
The flowers will bloom for weeks, attracting swarms of bees when the word goes out (Neighborhood Buzz!). This occurs about 35 feet from the ground, so I’m not worried about stings from intoxicated pugilists. A larger nuisance is the flower dust that will fall and cover everything from landscaping to windshields. The upside there: it might also clog up my next-door neighbor’s pool cleaning mechanisms. Asshole.
Side view:
Welcome to summer!
Obalesque 
That green pod looks like something from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
My first thought… POD PEOPLE!
This isn’t the movie I remember from the 1950s, which scared the bejesus out of me. This one looks laughable. Why can’t Hollywood leave well enough alone?
That’s pretty damn impressive. Royals are magnificent, although anybody who’s been beaned by a falling frond, or had his car crushed, might appreciate then less. I speak from experience.
What’s the thick green growth crawling up the trunk? That’s not part of the palm. Does it choke its growth?
I believe that’s called Virginia Creeper. Grows ferociously up fences, trees, shrubs, and even along the ground. Develops clusters of tiny blue berries, too. Dies off in the winter, comes back with a vengeance. I like it, but I need to keep it somewhat controlled.
So, does that mean you’re The Floriduh Creeper?!
Ferocious with tiny blue berries?
I had a yeast infection once. Well, okay, actually, not just once. I get them a lot. But my point is, under a microscope, my yeast infections look a lot like this flower bloom. Much smaller, thank god.
Ferocious with tiny blue berries?!
Probably caught it from The Floriduh Creeper!
KEEP CLEAR!
No, not the creeper. The palm. I get these infections from humpers, not creepers.