Head Games

The thing to keep in mind here as you read this is that Brazil is preparing to host both the 2014 World Cup for soccer, and the 2016 Olympics.

A decapitated referee in Brazil lost his life after he murdered a soccer player during a game. According to Yahoo Sports on July 6, the decapitated referee was killed by a mob who rushed the field.

estacaThe incident happened when the game in northern Brazil was halted when referee Octavio da Silva ejected an amateur player from the game. When the player, Josenir dos Santos, began to argue a fight between the two broke out. According to the police, da Silva pulled out a knife and stabbed the player.

A mob of friends and relatives of the player then stormed the field and attacked da Silva, stoned the referee to death in revenge and then quartered his body, decapitated the referee and then placed his head on a stake in the middle of the field.  — examiner.com

Translation

“Stoned the referee” doesn’t mean they blew blunt smoke up his nostrils.  It means the infuriated mob picked up rocks and other solid debris off the field and surrounding areas — these games aren’t played on Astroturf or finely maintained fairways, you know — and hurled them at the ref until he was severely incapacitated, bloody and broken.  Then they just stood around and clonked him at will.

“Quartered his body” means they tore it apart — into four pieces, like the chicken you buy at Publix, minus the wrapper.  (Presumably they didn’t bother separating  those tasty referee giblets, though.)  There’s no mention of butchering tools, so we may assume they managed this feat manually, or perhaps gnawed his body apart.  If next year the Olympics introduce a Human Tug of War competition, bet on the Brazilians.

“Placed his head on a stake” — not Leg of Ref, but the decapitated head a la Lord of the Flies.   Right out there in the center of the rock-strewn field, which probably contains material to fashion a totem on which to fasten a severed head.  You gotta admire these folks’ ingenuity.

So — who opposes replays now?

My other thought is that we badly need to organize thousands of Brazilians to attend Marlins games and point them in the direction of the box from which the team’s ownership group watches its employees butcher the sport, dishonor the game, and stick it to the fans.  Who wouldn’t pay good money to see the severed heads of Jeffrey Loria and Sawed-Off Samson impaled on those hideous Marlins mannequins in the Liberace-like center field “sculpture” that spasmodically cavorts on rare moments when a Marlin hits a home run?

Play ball.

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12 Responses to Head Games

  1. Le Bon Cannibal says:

    I understand all is not lost. The remains of the ref. are the special of the week at the local Churrascaria‎. Everything can have a happy ending.

  2. Elemenno P says:

    Now those are some passionate fans.

  3. julesagray says:

    “A decapitated referee in Brazil lost his life after he murdered a soccer player during a game. According to Yahoo Sports on July 6, the decapitated referee was killed by a mob who rushed the field.”

    Everyone needs a copy editor—even Brazilians.

  4. Hugh Bris says:

    Those Brazilians really know how to party. *Every*body must get stoned.

  5. syrbal says:

    I’ve been saying that the 21st century bears some uncomfortable resemblance to the Middle Ages….but seriously, how many refs expect to end up doing a William Wallace?

  6. Ruh Roh says:

    Yow. Can’t wait for the next time these two teams meet. As for the referee, he’ll have to hire his own security. This really puts into perspective those parents that get all bent out of shape at their kids’ T-ball contests.

  7. Piles says:

    Brazil nuts.

  8. Lu Senz says:

    Soccer is for animals and idiots, and too often, as happened here, they come together.

  9. C. Howard Fields says:

    SOYLENT GREEN IS REFEREES!

  10. Cap says:

    Soccer is the game of the future in the United States and always will be

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