Here in the City of Bodily Harm we know a few things, okay? We fuckin know things you fuckin people everywhere else got no fuckin clue about. And this don’t surprise nobody.
On the streets of Sal Fluffya — that’s “South Philadelphia” to you furriners — people walk around with their eyes fuckin open. We see shit, we know shit. And sometimes this shit we see is enough that we got people to call when something don’t look right, okay?
Lookit this tacky ad. You live around here you know right away it ain’t on the up-and-up. These people are terrorists. Dumb enough they thought they could get away with it out in the open, right in front of us. Arrogant fuckin pukes.
Like we didn’t know “premium Italian ices” ain’t another way of bragging about ISIS. “Water ISIS,” you got it? Clever bastards.
Italian my ass. Well, duh. Just fuckin duh.
No need to call Home Security. We got people to take care of things.
This is Philly, signing off. Rest easy tonight. You’re welcome, America.