Cherry Lemon Chocolate

Here in the City of Bodily Harm we know a few things, okay? We fuckin know things you fuckin people everywhere else got no fuckin clue about. And this don’t surprise nobody.

philly-water-iceWhat happened in Brussels won’t fuckin happen here. We got it.

On the streets of Sal Fluffya — that’s “South Philadelphia” to you furriners — people walk around with their eyes fuckin open. We see shit, we know shit. And sometimes this shit we see is enough that we got people to call when something don’t look right, okay?

Lookit this tacky ad. You live around here you know right away it ain’t on the up-and-up. These people are terrorists. Dumb enough they thought they could get away with it out in the open, right in front of us. Arrogant fuckin pukes.

Like we didn’t know “premium Italian ices” ain’t another way of bragging about ISIS. “Water ISIS,” you got it? Clever bastards.

Italian my ass. Well, duh. Just fuckin duh.

No need to call Home Security. We got people to take care of things.

This is Philly, signing off.  Rest easy tonight. You’re welcome, America.

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3 Responses to Cherry Lemon Chocolate

  1. guido says:

    The original Italian water ice was created in the back yard of a little old Italian couple who sold it to kids using the alley as a short cut on the way home from school. Of course that was only for a few weeks before school let out for the summer. Then somebody came up with the water ice cart and we loved it because the water ice came to us. Of course back then it was lemon or cherry, only.

  2. Borkon says:

    You got it all back-asswards. ISIS means “Italian Specialty Ice Service.” You know, water ice.

  3. guido says:

    “I.S.I.S”…..We Can Lick ‘Em!!

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