Alcohol and Actirasty

Real bad news for me and the lizards, lounge type and others.

Scientists believe drinking too much alcohol could set off a chain of reactions in the body that makes the skin more vulnerable to cancer. … [But] the authors of the work in the British Journal of Dermatology admit that other forces may also be to blame.  Drinkers may lounge in the sun without enough protective clothing or suncream.  — BBC

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that last word means “sunscreen.”   Brits, you know.

suntanIt’s a terrible study, almost apologetic for its imprecision.  It concludes that maybe alcohol is a factor and maybe it isn’t — how’s that for hard science?  It admits that the statistical bump in the number of reported cases of skin cancer may be attributed to the fact that people (Brits, anyway) who start boozing on holidays at the beach get careless about sun exposure (and everything else).  As a result, they burn their pasty white Anglo epidermis, which can lead to higher incidents of skin cancer.

Blame beach volleyball while you’re at it.  Or boring magazines that put sunbathers to sleep.

As entertaining and rewarding as it is, drinking in strong sun isn’t a great idea.  But it’s hard to resist, particularly when combined with athletic ventures like babe-watching, hurling seashells at birds, and insulting bloated hairy tourists in Speedos whose seasonal invasion of your beach ugly it up beyond redemption.  I won’t name specifics, but I live in Hollywood, FL.  Get it?

I make it a point to imbibe great quantities of beer when tending to my landscaping chores, usually in mid-day sun.  That way, when I slice my bare hoof with the weed whacker or crack my skull on a low hanging tree branch (“Who the hell put THAT there?”) I can pick my ass up and laugh off the pain like a gormless hind and keep on going.  I figure if I survive the experience, I’ll worry about skin cancer later.  Especially now, with ObamaCare!

The fact is, the sun feels good.  Too good.  Add a cold drink and it’s heaven on earth.  That’s why I live in south Florida — it sure ain’t the culture, friendly people,  or vocational opportunities.

Good thoughts for a mid-winter day.

This entry was posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip, Shaken and Stirred. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Alcohol and Actirasty

  1. Barbara Ganousch says:

    Yes, very responsible. Mentor of the Year material. Good job.

  2. Hose B says:

    When I Googled “actirasty” the first choice was in Urban Dictionary. It doesn’t sound like a serious disorder unless you’re also addicted to Speedos.

  3. Tanya Hyde says:

    At Tanorexics Anonymous, we understand that If skin cancer is the price of indulging our actirasty, we’re prepared to pay! See you on Haulover the next sunny day. Which, has everybody noticed, is long overdue.

  4. guido says:

    FYI…You put the tree there.

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